FFL Update

Mike's collar is up to the sky this week after a momentous 16 points (Rooney with 9 of them) propels him to within 12 points of the lead. An uncharacteristically poor week from James - just 3 points - sees a mild concertina at the top of the table. At the bottom, another woeful week for Stathi with 2 points sees him well and truly rooted.

Scores:

Total Points
1st James 126
2nd Sid 121
3rd Mike 114
4th Nick Ath 101
5th Nick Ach 90
6th Donald 86
7th Theo 71
8th Rico 58
9th Steve 58
10th Stathi 46

With no transfers to report this week, that's all there is. 4 days till the next round...

People in glass houses..............

shouldn't throw stones.

Can you beleive this man??

Negativity Annoys Wenger

Is this is the same Wenger who only a short year or so ago decided that the only way to try and win the FA Cup was to be............er..............negative????
He's obviously forgotten about Arsenal's all out attacking policy against United at Cardiff in the 2005 FA Cup Final. You know - the one they never mention even though they won it (on penalties).

What a hypocrite. Not only is he 'not seeing things' he is now forgetting things!!!

To Wenger it is obviously unfair when nasty teams go down to a bright shiny new stadium and actually have a game plan, isn't it?

Mr. Wenger I suggest to take heed of the following: If you can't take the fact that people will try and get results against your side then you have lost the point of a competitive sport that relys on one team trying to get the better of the other within the confines of the laws of the game..............

FFL Update

Okay, back to business. Just what the chasing pack didn't want, a top-scoring week by James, is what they got. Donald matched him with a 15-pointer, but the lead is now stretched to 12 over Sid who managed a respectable 12. Steve's tail-light is now within Stathi's sights, Steve managing a meagre 3 for the week.

So, we're looking like this:

FFL 2006/07
LEAGUE TABLE

Total Points
1st James 123
2nd Sid 111
3rd Mike 98
4th Nick Ath 92
5th Nick Ach 85
6th Donald 83
7th Theo 63
8th Rico 53
9th Steve 51
10th Stathi 44

1 transfer to report: Rico buys Hoyte for Michael Gray.

I've been asked for the updated spreadsheet which I'll e-mail to everyone rather than post all the teams up here. It would be a good idea to save it and mark down all subsequent transfers as they happen.

Bring on another Saturday...

Pill-slippers at the BBC

This is genius. I saw him doing it live a couple of years ago and haven't since been able to take News At Ten seriously.

Only in America?!

This is absolutely class. This is what one American Footballer openly wrote after he discovered he was the WORST rated player in a COMPUTER game!

Click on the link.
LINK

I found it hilarious. The guy is pure comedy but it also got me thinking. What would some of the Premiership stars have to say about thier ratings in games such as Football Manager???

The Titus one: - "Why -157??? Surely I HAVE to have at least a single digit positive number in the defensive awareness rating?"

Roeder: " Zero? What is this thing they call a personality? Oh, ok then."

Ashley Cole: "Look love, just like you in your team, I also have a top cunt rating."

Over to you guys, any others??

P.S I purposly decided against vermin ratings......................

Ha, ha, ha, ha...........

This from one of their own:

LFC RANT

I have to say the inhabitants of the 'City of Culture' outdid themselves yesterday at Old Trafford. So much wit and class. Oh, the humour from those lovable rogues from the North West - singing about 'Munich' and 'runways'.

Now if it was the other way around............................

Blinkered press??

What would have been the press reaction if Rooney or Drogba or Van Persie had 'nibbled' an opponent?

I'll tell you what, in the case our Rooney the likes of Woolnough, Custis, Samuel, Harris & co would have exploded with pharisaic anti-United rage. (it makes a change!!!)

Press rooms all over the country would be in meltdown as the front & back pages go into 'ROO-NATIC!' overload.

Alan Green would have called for a life long banas long at it didn't affect teh national team which the FA would have delivered.

Every News channel in the country would be asking the opinion of media psychiatrists & sports therapists. Each of them telling us how Rooney is a certifiable loose cannon.

As it is Defoe, nothing much has been said..............................or is that the reason why??????!!!!!

P.S I am assuming that this post will elicit a record number of comments

Don't fuck with us

The heavies are being called in over at 101 Great Goals. Even the Beeb are reporting it. I hate these fucking whores. Like their bank accounts are seriously threatened by grainy images from Bulgarian news channels that a few anoraks (like us? like me?) get their kicks out of. Like attendances will suddenly fall. Like people will stop watching Match Of The Day.

It's not about the money. It's about some sad little fuckwits with enormous egos who couldn't really give a shit about football. If there is a hell, it'll be full of these arseholes watching grainy images on tiny screens of everyone else playing football in the Elysian Fields.

Candid Camera Russian Style

Is it real? Is it fake? I've watched this a dozen times and still cant figure it our for sure but I've been told this clip is 100% genuine... If it is I suggest we send Jeremy Beadle to Russia for his next TV show.

Sesame Streets

This has to be watched:

Martin Scorsese's Sesame Street

FFL Update

Not a particularly high-scoring week this week, but one which sees Mike start to stake his claim with a 17-pointer, thanks largely to the most odious man in football who wouldn't look odd with Bob Carolgees's fist up his arse. I'm talking about Diouf, of course. Ominously, James manages 13 points to stretch his lead slightly at the top. With Johnson and Bent playing 90 minutes every week (we know that was the idea James) this strategy could pay off handsomely. But, as if we need reminding, there's a long way to go yet.

Three cheers for Stathi who managed a monumental 7 points this week. Like they say at Sainsbury's, every little counts (or something like that). Rico and Donald suffer the ignominy of bottom-scoring, with 3 points each. Here's the table, with the formatting fucked for some unfathomable reason:

"FFL 2006/07
LEAGUE TABLE"

Total Points
1st James 108
2nd Sid 99
3rd Mike 85
4th Nick Ath 82
5th Nick Ach 75
6th Donald 68
7th Theo 58
8th Steve 48
9th Rico 45
10th Stathi 35

One transfer to report: Mike gets rid of Cech for Cudicini. It was surprising that no one else went in for him, something that Mike obviously anticipated in making a hasty move. A good one though, by the looks of it. Tough luck.

In keeping with the current trend for null transfers, Donald tried to get Nicky Hunt for J Lloyd Samuel. Alas, poor Donald - he's mine.

That wraps it up for this week. Now back to injury-watch for the Champions League matches. I fancy Ballack to tear ankle ligaments, Gallas to pull his hamstring (badly this time), Crouch to get a groin strain and Saha to break his foot.

There, I said it.

World Player of the Year???

Click on the link below.

LINK
A different take on the list that makes up the contenders for this year's FIFA World Player of the Year Award.

The comment for Frank 'deflection and in' Lampard sums up what I also think of the man. A good player, who is out of his depth at the VERY top level. How this player got into the top three last year is beyond me.

What is most galling I suppose is the inclusion of players like Essien, Gattuso, Drogba, Adriano but no place (votes) for Fabregas?

FULL LIST

My vote? Only one - Cannavaro

Transfers

In a bid to propel himself off the bottom, Stathi makes 2 transfers:

- Gael Clichy in for Linvoid Primarse ("it's a tough competition, Linvoid")
- Xabi Alonso for Michael Carrick. You can only wait so long for a sideways pass to be deflected towards goal.

Mike tried to transfer a midfielder (Francis) for a striker (Agbonlahor). Nice try Mike but as two-time champion and ex-Chairman, you disappoint.

These fucking international weeks are duller than Glen Roeder.

Donledley Patterking

Am I the only one who sees Donald instead of Ledley King?

Just for Collars Up

liverpool

A complete hellhole. A town full of sordid, tango-tanned scrubbers and thick, ignorant, aggressive scallies. If you've ever seen the Burt Reynolds film 'Deliverance you'll have some idea what these people are like. These slackjawed, shaven-headed morons (otherwise known as 'friendly, witty scousers') are amongst the most violent and bigoted people on the planet. If you have the misfortune to live here ( and I do), for god's sake don't show any individuality, and try not to be from an ethnic background because they'll very probably kill you. Laughably this dump was awarded 'European City of Culture' for 2008, notwithstanding the fact that its so-called 'culture' consists of the 'Beatles' who left here in 1963 and never came back, and some of the worst clubs on earth playing the cretinous 'scouse-house'.

Here are some tips for fitting in if you have the bad luck to end up here. These tips should ensure survival:
1. wear a tracksuit (women may wear pyjamas)
2. shave your head (women should be bottle blond)
3. develop a guttural whine (both sexes)
4. gob on the floor frequently (experts recommend at least every 10 steps) (both sexes)
5. try not to finish a sentence without using the F word at least fourteen times (again, both sexes)
6. steal anything that isn't nailed down
7. talk in an extremely loud voice (as you're so 'witty' everyone will want to hear your opinions)
8. glare at everyone in a threatening manner, especially students, 'goths' and anyone perceived to be'gay'
9. Call anyone not wearing a tracksuit 'gay' then beat them up 10. tell everyone how 'scousers are the friendliest people in the world aren't they though?

They're stooooooopid as well!!!!

Click on the link for a list of the stupidest places in Britain.

Guess who is number three!!!!!!



THICK VERMIN

Beribeze, beribeze...

There's an 8 minute Garoi special on Youtube which doesn't contain all the best scenes ("...egarfose me o pezevengis...") but does have a scene of absolute genius exactly 6 minutes into it:



The original, which never stops being the funniest thing ever created, is here.

My Yaya could've scored that

The most detestable thing in football?

What would get your vote? Diving? Whinging managers? A lack of foreigners in the Arsenal starting XI?

I don't think I can think of more detestable mixture than Joey Barton. And here's why:

Not only is he a city player but he is also a Scouser! In addition he is a scumbag racist who burns cigars on people, beats up 15 year olds and has a murderer for a brother!

Just the worst mix so for all his sinning what will he get in trouble for (posssibly)? Mooning at the Everton crowd!!! Have the police nothing better to do?
(And no jokes about being subjected to a police probe!)

Check out what psycho said about it: LINK

Another link for teh 'smiling assassin': LINK

Week 5 update

You know it's your year when:

- one of your key players looks like he's fucked his hamstring in mideweek but he miraculously appears in the starting line-up 3 days later.
- your striker scores against your own team and you still win (forthwith known as a 'double 3-pointer' unless anyone can think of anything better).
- your defender doesn't play when his team concedes two goals.
- every single player is contributing and starting every match.

You know it's not your year when:

- you break the record for the lowest score, every single week.
- you buy a defender after he's kept 5 clean sheets in a row and he starts conceding immediately.
- you blow half your budget on the best striker in the world, playing for the best team in the Premiership, and he can't kick a ball straight.
- your full-back just returns from injury, gets injured before half-time and his team goes on to keep a clean sheet.
- you've scored 28 points after 7 weeks and you're already 67 points behind.

A tale of two managers, gentlemen. One is top, the other is bottom.

So, to business. Theo top scores (and how he needed it) with a fairly modest 12, but he's the only player to get into double figures in a frankly pathetic week. No guesses who bottom scored with -1. The table:

1st James 95
2nd Sid 89
3rd Nick Ath 71
4th Mike 68
5th Donald 65
6th Nick Ach 64
7th Theo 52
8th Rico 42
9th Steve 38
10th Stathi 28

Rico went transfer crazy, getting rid of Solano for Speed, Davies for Kanu and Harewood for Baros. Yes, Milan Baros. Maybe he knows something that no one else, including Martin O'Neill, knows.

Also, Nick PC beat your humble blogger and de facto Chairman to Abdullah Meite, getting rid of Silvestre (valued at £4.7m) - no competition for Ooijer (£3.6m) who I am thoroughly bored with. Ooijer bored, in fact (for the benefit of those who missed the gag at the auction).

That's all folks.