Apathy, disillusionment, cynicism, lack of empathy
These are the words that spring to mind when I currently think of football.
Am I falling out of love with the game? Possibly. The ‘beautiful’ game is no more, and it hasn’t been for a long time. Prices through the roof – I’m not prepared to pay 50 quid every other week to watch Darron Gibson and John O’Shea plod their way at Old Trafford.
Then there is the number of cunts in football. There used to be a handful of these hate types now everywhere you look they are everywhere.
There are the usual cunts like Ashley Cole, Alan Shearer (as a player and certainly as a pundit), John Terry, Diouf etc.
But we now have a new echelon of football cunts who infect and infest the game. People like Mick ‘up his own arse’ McCarthy, Ian ‘buffoon, rent a quote’ Holloway, Neil Warnock (his name is an anagram of wanker by the way), William ‘loony’ Gallas.
And then there’s the written press who have out of nowhere have become football ‘celebrities’. Morons like Shaun Custis and Andy Dunn to name but two. The proliferation of talk show crap – step forward Adrian Durham you knob and his television ‘twin’ Tim Lovejoy.
Where has Jimmy Hill gone? Des Lynam? I can handle Lineker and Hansen and just about stomach Lawerenson, but MOTD is actually very shit these days.
Referees? Shit, shit, shit. How Howard Webb did not get a universal slaughtering for his World Cup Final display is beyond me. Are we in Communist Russian? Is The Sun the new Pravda????
But all this is part of a bigger reason and with Mighty Mouse eager to hear my latest anti-scouse rant, I’m afraid I am going to disappoint, and here’s why.
When I woke up on Saturday morning and read that the ‘dippers’ when on the verge of getting a nine-point penalty my initial amusement (I fell out bed such were the belly laughs) was overwhelmed by a sense of perspective.
You see, if this were to happen it would be an absolute fucking travesty. Yep, that’s right, you have read it right I am saying that were the vermin rat munchers left on MINUS 3 points I think it would be an utter disgrace.
Why? One reason is because they are United’s bitterest and biggest rivals (boy I loved watching them squirm when Berba smashed in his hat trick). There are clubs that profess to claim United being their biggest game but inbred Bolton don’t count and as for the multitude of Arsenal fans who tell me ‘we hate manure’, fucking grow up you pricks. We have never been your rivals and never will. You just happen to be an irritant on the way to Ferguson (in this era) winning title after title.
Surprised? You should be I guess. I may hate the team from the self pity city. I may have to use Nintendo Wii honed reflexes to avoid their spit at Old Trafford and flying coins (this one always perplexes me, surely the mass unemployed need every penny???). I may hate their self-pity and self righteousness, THAT song, the Munich chants (again, don’t get this given their tragedies they never tire of telling the world). I have laughed at the sight of the Fat Spanish Waiter talking about FACHTS. Seen him spunk £18m on a full back who can’t defend, £20m on a striker who was resold back to Spurs for nearly half price, attempt to buy Gareth Barry while at the same time piss off Alonso and then end up with neither. Lucas? Vornonin? Let’s not go there.
But, and you know this is very hard for me say, I respect them. Respect them for their history (Chelsea are you listening?). Respect them that during their glory years they did it with pure graft, management that was beyond anything else at the time and the most important thing it was all paid for by themselves.
There was no Russian oligarch to bankroll the club. A man who knows the illegality of what he did (and continues to do so) that he became a governor of a remote Siberian state. Why become governor? It affords you immunity from prosecution! Clever eh? As clever as bleeding a whole nation dry! And where can he ‘hide’ and legitimise his money? That’s right, Chelsea Football Club.
As for those bitter blue bastards over at Wastelands, well the less said the better. Even with having an owner who is worth 100 billion pounds (say it again, 100 billion pounds) they still buy dross, play dross and are run by a complete idiot. If you recall Gary Cook claimed Kaka didn’t have the bottle to go to city!
Back to the granny stabbers and yes, it was hilarious that with open arms and open arseholes they welcomed H&G (Hicks and Gillett) while at the same time singing U-S-A at Old Trafford. Oh the scouse wit!
But these clowns, much like the Glazers, are ruining football history. These con-men who have taken over both club should be found and sent to Guantanamo Bay.
They don’t ‘get’ football, they are only in it to line their pockets. But you know what this is what greed does. The Premier League is a bloated parody of itself. Best league in the world? My arse. The FA? Bunch of morons who couldn’t run a bath.
If Liverpool do go into administration then hopefully it will be the wake-up call that has been coming since Leeds started to implode- but those sheep shaggers are not big enough to warrant widespread action. The government needs to step in and rid the game of chancers and gamblers who are ruining the game.
Last week United announced an operating profit of £100m, the balance sheet shows a LOSS of £80m. Over the last five years United have had a net spend of approx £60m on transfers, roughly £11m a year. Over the same period United have HAD to pay nearly £470m in interest payments thanks to those Glazer gimps. That’s roughly £93m a year. How the fuck is that allowed to happen?
Rant over. I am back, temperature rising, temper raging.