Setanta's little helper

I've never managed to listen to Gabriele Marcotti without wanting to remove my innards and eat them, but Saturday night's Serie A commentary on Setanta took crap commentary to a new level.

Palermo are playing Lazio, someone is caught offside and Marcotti (as is his wont) starts pouring fecal matter from his mouth about how the linesman was wrong. A replay then proves the linesman was right, and Marcotti comes out with this gem: "The Mac Daddy was ligit." Oh yes he did.


"I'm Italian, honest. Listen to the way I pronounce Italian names." You're a cock.

FFL Week 21

Another week, another spreadsheet disaster. If it wasn't so tight at the top, I'd suggest ending the season early and planning for the next (chipping in for a new laptop for the Chairman, new spreadsheet design for 2007, maybe some office furnishings).

Anyway, it's been another eventful week at the top, with James regaining the upper hand, albeit late on. Goals from Nolan and Barton led a recovery from what was looking like a poor week's scoring. No fireworks from anyone this week, Mike top scoring with a modest 11. Only Theo managed nothing at all.

So, the scores are:

1st James 259
2nd Nick Ach 257
3rd Mike 247
4th Sid 235
5th Nick Ath 230
6th Donald 209
7th Rico 197
8th Theo 186
9th Steve 173
10th Stathi 135

Two transfers to report:

Sid dumps the ever-absent Emre for Steve Sidwell (the 1st Reading player to be bought in FFL history - well done Sid).

Theo grabs Montella following van Persie's injury woe.

And that's it for another week. 29 points between 1st and 5th is as tight as it's ever been at this stage...

Did YOU do this at Christmas????

Be honest, who did this in Christmas' past??????

CLICK HERE

Banner of the season???

Seen at the Chelsea - Nottingham Forest FA Cup match:

Shaun Wright-Philips? £21m

Andriy Shevchenko? £30m

2 European Cups? priceless!

Putting the Rent-Boys in their place.

FFL Week 20

Well, an intriguing week has just passed. Lots of high scores, a few surprises and more shenanigans at the top. A premature ejaculation of joy came from James before learning a valuable lesson: never get your dick out before the week (or season even) is through.

Nevertheless, James it is who top scored this week with a crucial 23 points. Pedersen finally finding form and Chimbonda chipping in with a valuable 6. Trouble is, the nearest challenger, Nick PC, scored 16 himself, despite having 4 chalked off for Meite. This included 6 points for Arteta in the same match that saw Andy Johnson get his injury. Never get your dick out...

After a spectacular 3 or 4 weeks, I hit rock bottom with -4 for the week, the lowest score of the season so far. At the same time, Ooijer is out for the season during a rare Blackburn clean sheet. That's enough solipsism from me.

Anyway, the table:

1 Derby 56
2 Birmingham 53
3 Preston 53
4 West Brom 49
5 Southampton 49
6 Cardiff 46

Sorry, the other table:

1st James 251
2nd Nick Ach 249
3rd Mike 236
4th Sid 234
5th Nick Ath 220
6th Donald 203
7th Rico 190
8th Theo 186
9th Steve 166
10th Stathi 132

Transfer action:

Mike rebuys Cech for Cudicini, as predicted.

2 bids came in for Downing (who I thought still belonged to Donald, despite spending 40 hours in front of the spreadsheet this week trying to fix a bug, but what the hell do you fuckers care about that, or even appreciate it?). So, Sid came in with Emre (£3.8m) whilst Nick came in with Duff (£4.6m). Not even close. This could be the beginning of the end ladies and gentlemen. As for Donald, it's pull your hair out time. Downing scored 11 points this week, but all he's got to show for it is a pointless (in more ways than one) Andy Reid.

James takes a calculated risk, trading in the crocked Johnson for Adebayor who will surely be deputising for van Persie for a few weeks. It'll be an interesting end to the season, but my cash is on Nick. Not me, the other one.

Bring on the FA Cup. Up the Rams.

Post FA Cup scores

Nick PC extends his lead at the top after a bountiful midweek harvest of 9 points. The latest scores after the midweek FA Cup matches were taken into account are:

"FFL 2006/07
LEAGUE TABLE"

Total Points
1st Nick Ach 242
2nd James 233
3rd Mike 229
4th Nick Ath 227
5th Sid 226
6th Donald 205
7th Rico 192
8th Theo 179
9th Steve 156
10th Stathi 127

Chelsea Top of the League

Chelsea moved to the top of the Premiership this morning after successfully buying Watford’s points. The £9m transfer came as a surprise to the rest of the Premiership, but with Watford already having given up any hope of staying in the Premiership, the audacious purchase of all their points benefits both clubs.
Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon commented ‘These ten points are exactly the sort of boost the club needs at the moment and could be the difference that helps us retain the Premiership. For Watford, the money will allow them to rebuild their squad to have another tilt at promotion next year. As they say ‘you can’t take them with you’. ’
The champions now have 45 points, although their goal difference has of course suffered, particular considering the four goals that Chelsea now ‘conceded’ against Chelsea. But the transfer puts them four points ahead of Manchester United who are now rumoured to be in negotiations with Charlton over a loan of some of their points until the end of the season.
Chelsea’s share value rose after the news. However the company fell several places on the FTSE 100 index after they were deducted points for fielding an illegible accountant.

Corrected FFL table

A few (well, more than a few) corrections to the scores following a complicated Xmas period with FA Cup scores in the mix. Is anyone checking their individual scores? Doesn't really look like it. Anyway, here's the revised table (without midweek FA Cup scores included):

1st Nick Ach 233
2nd James 228
3rd Mike 226
4th Sid 226
5th Nick Ath 224
6th Donald 196
7th Rico 192
8th Theo 179
9th Steve 156
10th Stathi 125

I'll post a revised table later on today with midweek FA Cup points included if anyone is interested.

All change at the top..................

19 points covers the first five positions.

The biggest mover is McNick with a HUGE 78 points in three weeks moving him towards striking distance of the top which is occupied by the other Nick.

A poor week for James means we have a new leader and could it possibly be a new name on the Dwight Yorke Cup Trophy?

Looks like an exciting second half of the season in what could be the closest FFL in history!

Here is the table:

		Total Points	Diff
1st	Nick Ach	233
2nd	James	228	5
3rd	Mike	226	7
4th	Sid	225	8
5th	Nick Ath	214	19
6th	Rico	197	36
7th	Donald	188	45
8th	Theo	177	56
9th	Steve	152	81
10th	Stathi	128	105

One transfer from yours truly: Cech for Cudicini

Scousers at it again...

Thought I'd get in before Mike on this one...

As if getting special dispensation to play in the Champions' League wasn't enough, those cheeky scouse chaps have gone to back to footie's governing bodies and asked for special permission to take Javier "West Ham are a big club" Mascherano on loan. Personally I think this is simply testing the waters...if they get the go ahead on this one, it will be swiftly followed up with a special dispensation to replay all cup games they lose because the manager (for whom I am rapidly losing all respect) clearly wasn't given enough financial backing from his board. Hmmm, £7M for Peter Crouch.....

James opens up a gap.........

See told you! JN has opened up a 10 point gap at the top of the FFL League after the New Year / FA Cup period. Indeed, JN's haul of 14 points was more than mine over the past 2 weeks!
In effect my team's misifiring coupled with Sid and Nick Ach scoring 25 and 16 respectively has had a consertina effect with 5 points separating second to fourth place.
Top score this week has gone to Rico with a mamoth 29 with a significant contribution of eight points from Arsenal's Justin Hoyte. That's right, Hoyte. Not only is he flying the flag for Englishmen everywhere in that French quarter of London known as 'Eeeslintonne' but he has given Rico's team some hope for the rest of the season. Only 48 points behind top spot!

Top scoring individual was not Mr Deflection despite a hattrick against Macclesfield. That honour was reserved for Thierry Henry with 12 points. As much as his return looks to have revitalised Arsenal, it could just be what allows Sid to make an FFL title challenge.
Elsewhere, Stathi is still rooted after a 10 point haul but this is not low enough to give him the 'Tesco Value Award' for budget points total as that has gone to yours truly with a pathetic 6!

Here is the table and as I stated last week, please check your scores and email me any mistakes.

		Total Points	Diff
1st	James	229
2nd	Mike	219	10
3rd	Nick Ach	218	11
4th	Sid	214	15
5th	Nick Ath	194	35
6th	Rico	181	48
7th	Donald	176	53
8th	Theo	173	56
9th	Steve	146	83
10th	Stathi	119	110

One transfer to note but THREE attenpts to get the same player:

I bid Francis for Kieron Dyer but never had a prayer once Rico and James were in the running.
James bid Nolan for Dyer but was beaten to it by Rico who has given up the talents of Joe Cole for the aforementioned injury prone 'billy big boots' of Tyneside!

That's it for the week and I can't post this without saying how I thoroughly enjoyed Arsenal's recent scouse bashing! The 6-3 game really rammed it home why Gerrard has been played on the right by Benitez - because even against a bunch of kids he was totally dominated in the middle when he hasn't got at least two players helping him in the middle. It was so embarrasing for 'Stevie G' that I was sure the interviewer was going to ask him at the end of the game whether it was dark in Fabregas' pocket!!!!

So long for this week. (Nick when are you back from Egypt?????????)

FFL update....................finally!

As you have no doubt realised there was no FFL update last week since our esteemed Chairman took it upon himself to test our patience to the limit! His excuse was that he simply forgot! Anyway, this week while we are enduring a soggy Christmas and New Year period he is off to sunnier climes relaxing in Egypt – enjoy!

So, what has been happening FFL-wise? Well James, never let it be said that we are not rooting for you to be the FFL champion. As we have already stated numerous times on this blog you are the champion-elect. It is only a matter of time. The overly obese lady is currently on stage waiting to unleash her voice. Ladbrokes, William Hill and BetFred have suspended betting, the winning tape is currently wrapped around your neck and the trophy is currently being engraved. My FFL spreadsheet already has your name as 2006/07 winner – the only thing missing is the points total – I think you get the point.

Anyway, since I swapped Obafemi Martins for Robbie Keane my luck has certainly changed – must be some JN voodoo or something since the past two weeks have seen JN amass a table topping 29 points. In the slip stream is yours truly with a poor 19 and Nick PorkChops, who has risen quicker than a meringue, with 30. This has meant that 13 points covers the top three.

Below that Sid consolidates fourth place thanks in no small measure to Ronaldo who is responsible for 20 of his 25 points in the last fortnight!

The biggest score last week was McNick who has soared eagle-like from eighth to fifth thanks to a huge score of 31 from last week making it a total of 42 for the last two weeks – truly impressive.

Bottom and still detached is Stathi who has nearly HALF of JN’s points and whose players could only score 12 points in two weeks. Stath, you now must know how Aidy Boothrooyd feels like!

Here's the table

James	215
Mike	213
Nick Ach	202
Sid	189
Nick Ath	167
Donald	162
Theo	156
Rico	152
Steve	138
Stathi	109

NOTE: Can everyone PLEASE check their scores. While I have endeavoured to make sure the scores are correct, I cannot be sure due to the spreadsheet &*^@ing up on me last week!

No transfers to report.

Happy New Year everyone. May 2007 bring joy, happiness to everyone and of course to a particularly loathed part of West London I wish continued injuries, problems and an inability to mould the most expensively assembled squad in football history into a coherent, balanced team. In addition, may the ego that runs this team continue his attempts to create disharmony among those he has labelled and marginalised as 'untouchables.' Whatever do the touchables think? May the swelling of discontent continue unabated. Roll on 2007!

United Christmas do...............

You've read about it, and here is a video of the United FIRST team singing a few terrace chants! (could you see the likes of Drogba, Shevchenko and Essien doing the same?)

Click Here

Incredulous!!!!!!! - Mourinho's comments

1. It was not a dive in the first place
2. How on earth can he have the cheek / temerity / gall to accuse a player from another team of diving
3. Perfectly reasonable to do so, if like Pearce, you stand up and openly state that your team is the biggest bunch of diving cheats ever seen on a Premiership pitch
4. He's a cunt
5. I'm starting a petition to Arsenal to let Utd beat us at the Grove.............just to spite them

Top Boy.........

Francesc Fabregas has lifted the lid on his spat with former Arsenal left-back Ashley Cole, saying that the player is now forgotten and that Cole didn't show any respect to his former team mates.
Fabregas refused to shake Cole's hand after Arsenal's draw with Chelsea and there were reports for a tunnel bust-up between the two players.
The Spanish midfielder said: "For me, Ashley Cole is a closed subject. He is not a friend because after leaving Arsenal he said many unjust things about us.
"In the world of football, respect between companions is the key - and he broke this rule.
"This player is forgotten - and also the person. I do not want to speak to him again.
"I believe that Cole was very well treated by Arsenal and that his response was not correct.
"I still don't think I am a star, but a player who desires to progress each day.
"On the pitch I appear to be fragile but week by week I am ripening and will never be intimidated by anyone. Never."

FFL amendments

I've been sleeping. More tranfers to report:

Donald:
OUT: Jenas
IN: Campo

OUT: Downing
IN: Andy Reid

Sid:
OUT: Crouch
IN: Martins

Also, Donald is owed 2 more points for a Rosicky assist last week.

FFL scores

Well, what a week! Points galore for some, points aplenty for others and what's-the-fucking-point for me and Donald. As Sid's challenge fades away, a new contender enters the fray in the shape of Nick PC, after a momentous 26-point week. Who knows, this might even warrant a scribble in the comments box.

However, the big mover in real terms has to be Mike, now well in contention for his 3rd title and inducing some black magic from James. 21 points in the bag, 3 more already for next week (Petrov's goal on Monday) which translates to a lead of 9 over James. Crucial games to come tonight though.

As for the rest of us, anyone from Donald down is thinking about next season already. There's always next season...

The scores:

"FFL 2006/07
LEAGUE TABLE"

Total Points
1st Mike 187
2nd James 181
3rd Nick Ach 162
4th Sid 154
5th Donald 135
6th Theo 134
7th Nick Ath 124
8th Rico 120
9th Steve 107
10th Stathi 82

Since my purchase of Distin didn't raise a giggle, I thought I'd buy another Man City defender this week. In comes Micah Richards, out goes Aaron Hughes. Hopefully, he'll be at Chelsea in January, but you can laugh anyway.

On a brighter note, the mighty Rams are on the march. Oh, to be back in the big time.

Congratulations New Leader and Champion Elect 06-07

Nice one Mike. Well done. Congrats. You must be chuffed. As I said earlier in the week, it's in the bag, all bets are off, the bookies are paying out, the fat lady is hoarse...............

The magic of the Champions League.............

Click on the link.

LINK

One EURO! One sodding EURO!!!!

Back to norrmal: FFL Update

My PC thanks you all for the get-well cards and flowers. He's okay now after undergoing a hard-disk transplant last weekend which he hasn't rejected yet. Keep praying for him.

So, a strange week in which most people scored between 14 and 17 points (even your humble chairman). James keeps his nose in front of Mike, thanks to a bumper week for Matt Taylor and yet more points from Gareth Barry, an unlikely midfield heavyweight this year thanks to a penalty every game for Villa at the moment. Joint top scorers for the week were Steve and Rico, both with 17 points (in Steve's case, all from defence). Another sorry week for Stathi with 6 points and Sid's challenge is seriously fading with just 7 points and focal point Henry out for the busy Xmas period. So, little change in the order of things:

"FFL 2006/07
LEAGUE TABLE"

Total Points
1st James 172
2nd Mike 166
3rd Sid 144
4th Nick Ach 136
5th Donald 129
6th Theo 126
7th Nick Ath 118
8th Rico 106
9th Steve 97
10th Stathi 70


One transfer to report: my own. Finally rid of that shaven-headed dufus Senderos (thanks for the -3 pal) for Sylvain Distin. Desperate times call for desperate measures. His 3 points foll forward into next week's scores where they'll be cancelled out by United's 4 goals at the weekend.

Onwards Christian soldiers...