Crap at football, but they know...

...how to do bus stops. Officially, according to Buses Magazine, the best bus stop in the country. It's even got its own website.

The many uses of Peter Crouch..................

Remember that pathetic attempt at a volley? You know the one (see above), well it has spawned a new internet game - how many different uses of Peter Crouch:

Number 1:

Number 2:

Number 3:













Number 4:

Even the animals are at it!!!!

From the Liverpool Echo:

Safari park bosses warned visitors to remove England flags from their cars after a group of baboons began stealing them.

The animals have built up a huge collection of flags in the monkey enclosure at Knowsley safari park in Merseyside.

Keepers at the park say the 120-strong troop of baboons have been known to help themselves to windscreen wipers but have now turned their attentions to the World Cup flags.

Safari Park general manager David Ross said: "Many people are wisely removing the flags before they set off on the safari drive.

"However, if they forget the baboons usually take them and they've now built up quite a collection.

"If you think about it, this is hardly surprising. All the baboons were born here on Merseyside."

He continued:

"So they are probably just as football mad as everyone else in the area."

On the march with Mike's army

Bloody hell. I've just noticed that Mike's team (well, one of the three he's entered) is in 141st position and on the leaderboard with only 11 points off the top spot and more transfers left than most teams. Just to put this in context, Stathi's team is in 77,631st place.

A couple of clever transfers Mike, and you could win that coveted tour of Channel 4's offices.

Saddest thing at the World Cup 2

Down to just 3 hours of live football a day now. What's a man supposed to do until 3pm?

Now if I was really sad (as opposed to just sad, which I am), I would watch one game and tape the other that's on simultaneously (ITV4 I think). To avoid hearing the score, I would mute the telly and attach masking tape to the top left hand corner of the screen to obscure live updates.

What am I going to do on the first day without ANY football? (June 28)

How did I ever get through the day without it?

Saddest thing at the World Cup???

Watching Zinedine Zidane has been sad......................

Here is a case of a player who wanted to stretch it a bit too far. Absolutely awesome in his time.

He always held a special place in my mind and I was fortunate to have watched him live at his peak - simply balletic and caressed the ball. He was one of the magical players of his generation.

It must he hard for players like Zidane when they get on a bit - he was so good, but just can't do it anymore.

So lovable eh???

I keep telling people about them..............

Lovable Scousers

Jekyll and (Micah) Hyde

That he is a player of undoubted quality is not in doubt. Thierry Henry is defintiely one of the world's best but bloody 'ell when it matters he does turn into Watford's Micah Hyde - i.e not very good!

Micah Hyde Biography

In the Premierhsip he has no equal and as FFLers we know his value - usually £15m at auction time!

However, what is it with him and BIG occassions? I won't go over the Champions League final, but a reminder of his post match analysis said much about him - loves the plaudits when they come his way but cannot take responisbility when the team loses. Fast forward to the lame French display against Switzerland and who rips into a young international trying to emulate his idols in the French sqaud? Yes it is Thierry laying into poor (but seriously ugly) Frank Ribery

Is it a coincidence that France have only scored one goal in the World Cup since they won it (i.e. since Henry has been the main striker)????

After Subnday's game guess who Henry is blaming? Has he looked in the mirror to tell himself "Thierry, you f***ed up that free header. SHame on you. Thierry, what about that one-on-one chance? You must do better." Did he hell.

In true bottler style he blamed the referee! - Henry Blames Ref

I know I will get slated for saying some of this but I say it as I see it. If only Henry could do the same!

Biorhythms

This is genius. I'm going to buy one today and listen to Radio 5 Live commentary like never before.

Fear the Argies

Fuck me, that 2nd goal was good. According to Jonathan Pearce, 24 passes. Fear them.

Bannockburn and all that

Bloody Scots. 4 years ago, I emerge from my flat in Partick to be swallowed up in a sea of yellow, samba music wafting out of tenement windows. This time round, rum and mango sales have gone through the roof. The question is, what will they do if we play Ecuador? Or Germany? Wear lederhosen?

I was starting to think the Scots had lost all their wit until this gem popped up in response to the Mars "Believe" campaign.



Can't wait to get to Hampden to watch the likes of Lee McCulloch and Kenny Miller next season.

Sickos

So I'm watching Ecuador against Costa Rica, doing a bit of work at the same time (the telly now lives next to my PC), and this question comes rolling in:

I love it when my pet ferret terry nibbles on my helm whilst my hairy lover boris urinates on him is this normal for a fairly normal bloke to do this?

The ferret "Terry" has to be Venables, the Boris is clearly Becker. Who's the "fairly normal bloke" though? It's got to be Jim Rosenthal.

Shake it all about

Maybe I'm the only one who's read the transfer rules to the World Cup FFL game - it's starting to look that way. We're allowed 12 transfers during the group stages. That means you can essentially rotate your team or maintain a squad of sorts. If you look at the leaderboard, those at the top have already used up most of their transfers.

Get with it people.

Shut up, Shearer

If I hear another pundit say something like "If there are any kids watching out there blah blah blah," I'll stop filling in my wallchart. The advice usually involves shooting across the keeper or something else that should be fucking obvious.

And since we're on the subject of pundits, why Leonardo? How random. Who at the BBC thought of getting him in and why? I can understand Ginola or Gullit being drafted in for previous World Cups, even Okocha this time round (ITV - where else), but Leonardo?

Why not, say, Thomas Skuhravy?



Oh. I get it now.

Did I say this game was crap?

Bring it on.

"Give it to me, baby"

The horror, the horror

The table as it stands after 4 days:

Dwight Yorke Trophy World Cup Edition
Manager Team Name Pts
1 Michael Pieri Skill with Will 15
2 Sidney Yanney ElSid Allstars 11
3 Del Pieri Collars Up 11
4 Rico Pieri Das Frechste 9
4 Melena Melena's Men 9
4 Jamie The Shins Of Reina 9
4 Helen Pieri Another Team... 9
8 Stathi Gialetta Allstars 7
9 Nick Dr Mabuse 2

As you can all see, this game is crap. Good idea, but utter crap.

First things first

It would be fitting, I think, to inaugurate this FFL blog by offering congratulations on behalf of the committee to Donald for winning his 2nd FFL Championship this season. [Grudging Applause] A sound defence, goals from everywhere, Steven Gerrard, William Gallas and timely transfers were the key.

This will be the new home our dearly beloved game. The intention is to post the weekly results here as well as any other information both relevant and irrelevant. Like this for example. And this:

Terror leader Abu Musab al Zarqawi was alive when he was identified by American troops after a US airstrike, it has been revealed. The US military said the leader of al Qaeda in Iraq managed to "mumble" a few words to troops before dying. Iraqi soldiers had strapped the Jordanian to a stretcher when they found him among the debris of the safehouse he had been staying in.

...

"Zarqawi attempted to turn away on the stretcher. Everyone
tried to secure him on the stretcher but he died from his wounds." He added: "There was some movement on the stretcher but he died later."

Now I've been wondering what the hell he would've mumbled to the troops before dying. It's been bugging me for a couple of days but after tuning in yesterday, cock in hand it has to be said, to the first match of what will be 5,760 minutes of football in 4 weeks (not counting extra time, injury time, penalties, highlights programmes, conversations about, online quizzes, FFL team management etc), I realised that al-Zarqawi could only have wanted to say "Four years...waited four years...one day to go...just one day to go...bastards...death to Brian McBride."

And the movement on the stretcher? He was reaching for his Saudi Arabia shirt - number 72 with "VIRGINS" on the back.