FFL Week 18 - updated

It's nice to be back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (is it F***!) I will be blunt and to the point.

I have lumped together the Christmas points from the past week and updated week 18 on the spreadsheet. This is to facilitate a smooth transition to the normallity of the football and FFL week.

A remarkable run of form from Berbatov saw him accumulate 16 points last week. Cynics pointed out that this had more to do with the opening of the transfer window than anything to do with wanting to see his side win a few games. For those unbelievers, watch his performance against Arsenal where there was more movement from his arms than his legs (this game obviously was played pre-trasnfer window!!)

Personally, I think Spurs should take the money and invest in some players who know what
a) marking is,
b) know how to tackle and
c) know how to organise that thing in football that is meant to prevent goals from being conceded.

At the moment, Joey Barton has a better defence than Spurs (and he's guilty as sin)

This gave Sid an amazing 42 points which elevated into third place. Stathi (obviously) stays on top with a more than credible 28 points helped by Santa Cruz. Lets hope this seasonally named forward stops scoring once the days get longer and the sun comes out. Rico keeps plugging away in second thanks to 17 points.

Scrooge award for lame points total is Theo with a a rather Ebeneezerly tight 9 which keeps him bottom.

Table:

Diff	Manager		Points	Defence	Midfield	Attack
	1st	Stathi	271	92	101	67
57	2nd	Rico	214	97	57	48
69	3rd	Sid	202	84	62	45
81	4th	Mike	190	57	70	63
97	5th	Nick Ath	174	73	55	34
102	6th	Nick PC	169	88	36	20
110	7th	James	161	76	49	36
126	8th	Don	145	38	18	71
133	9th	Theo	138	60	34	7

I have included the full table as we are now at the half-way point of the season. Next week is FA Cup weekend. Here's hoping Adebayor scores ten against Burnley while Fabregas is obviously rested.

The points from New Year's day onwards will be included in next week's round-up. As it stands before Santa Cruz scores a shed load against Sunderland tonight, Stathi maintains his 57 point lead at the top. James is this week's biggest mover so far with 17 points!

Finally, can I wish everyone a wonderful New Year. We have EURO 2008 on the horizon - anyone fancy a road trip to Salzburg for the 14th June Greece -Russia game? (It's a Saturday we can leave Friday)
Elsewhere, lets hope football continues to bring us joy - not just in the form of incisive, quality football not seen anywhere on this planet in the history of the game ever, ever, ever by such a young team that contains only teenagers ('trademark AFC' - as the London press keep telling us)

My hopes for the New Year include (apart from the obvious)
1) That that detestable little scrotum Eboue finally gets what he deserves. What a snidy little shit he is.

2) That Benitez keeps his job and keeps playing Kuyt

3) That football finally wakes up and stops giving very average footballers 50K+ a week contracts. Anyone see Reo-Coker on MTV Cribs? How can a player with no pace, little skill and an amazing inability to retain posession have the money to buy a holiday home in Orlando that he "uses two weeks a year" which has five bedrooms, swimming pool etc etc. Also see Antoine Sibierski (yes him) and his palatial home in Cannes as well as as Robbie Savage's amazing abode. Why? How?

4) A media realisation that some English footballers (you know who I mean!) are rather good - not WORLD class.

5) That Sam 'fat brown envelope' Allardyce keeps his job. I ma enjoying watching him squirm. Arrogant man who has an unhealthy and elevated opinion oif himself. I wouldn't mind if he did get his P45 just to see Mary Poppins have a go and send them down!

Regards, your chairman

Will Fabio give us quotes like these?

Read some of these quotes below. Now I know footballers (managers) are not the brightest bunch but can you really see the likes of Kilnsmann, Van Basten, Capello, Lippi, Hiddink etc etc coming out with amount of rubbish that came from the mouth of Kevin Keegan?

'It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.'

'The ref was vertically 15 yards away.'

'There are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion...'

'Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.'

'This could be a repeat of the final.'

'The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it.'

'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'

'England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different'

'Despite his white boots, he has real pace...'

'You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw...'

'He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted.'

'There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.'

'...using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.'

'One of his strengths is not heading'

'Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.'

'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'

'That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.'

'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different.'

'A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'

'The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.'

'That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong.'

'I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon.'

'Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries...'

'In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

'England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none'

'It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.'

'I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time.'

'It could be far worse for me if it was easy for me.'

'Discipline is not only very important, it's crucial.'

'Young Gareth Barry - he's young'

'Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.'

'They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.'

'You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter.'

'You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football'

'Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is'

'Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa'

'Football's always easier when you've got the ball'

'They don't come every three days, like they come after this one'

'I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow.'

'We have spent three matches chasing a football.'

'It’s no longer an 11 man game.'

'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'

'For some it's the ultimate job, for the others it's the last job.'

'I've had an interest in racing all my life, or longer really.'

'We managed to wrong a few rights.'

'We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine'

'He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.'

'Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose'

'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again'

'You need 88 points for the title and we’ve got 61 at present with 16 games to go, but if you set targets you limit yourself'

'We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half'

'He’s got a heart as big as his size, which isn’t big, but his heart’s bigger than that'

'Well, if that's true then it would be a big suprise, but then nothing surprises me in football these days.'

'You get bunches of players like you do bananas, though that is a bad comparison.'

'Not many teams will come to Arsenal and get anything, home or away'

'Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger'

'Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23million and they built a training ground on him'

'As far as I'm concerned, Danny Tiatto doesn't exist'

'One team with destiny already decided...'

'Maine Road was a great football stadium but as time moved on it stayed where it is...'

FFL week 18

Right, let's get this over and done with. I've got the outlaws coming round in about an hour and haven't even started peeling potatoes. Fuck the herald angels sing.

No one got into double figures in a frankly shit week of fantasy football. Mick and Theo came closest, scoring 9 each. Again, I finished bottom with no points and more injuries. Theo was right - this game is utter shite and rather childish if you think about it. Here are the scores:

c	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	243
46	2nd	Rico	197
63	3rd	Mike	180
80	4th	Nick Ath	163
83	5th	Sid	160
84	6th	Nick PC	159
##	7th	James	139
##	8th	Don	128
##	9th	Theo	129

No transfers.

Merry Xmas.

ffl week 17

Well, not much commentary is needed this week. Everyone saw the devastation wreaked by Stathi's team for themselves. One thing's for sure though: there'll be no Santa puns on this blog.

So, Stathi scores a massive 21 points. In a week in which only 1 other manager, James, gets into double figures (with 12). As for moi, it's a pathetic 4. Theo was right - it's a fucking stupid game for kids this FFL bollocks. Scores:

c	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	236
47	2nd	Rico	189
65	3rd	Mike	171
73	4th	Nick Ath	163
81	5th	Sid	155
82	6th	Nick PC	154
99	7th	James	137
##	8th	Don	121
##	9th	Theo	120

Again, no transfers. What's the point, eh?

Separated at birth?

Midfield class

I know its still early, I know its (very) biased but the future of midfield players in WORLD football is these two.


















We all know Cesc's qualities but anyone who has watched Anderson recently will reaslise why Ferguson paid so much for him.

Both can play with the ball at their feet. Both are two-footed. Both can pass - short and long. Both (to coin a Stathi-sim) are continuity players. One is 19 years old and has played here since September, while the other is 20. Both have the world at their feet.

Compare with these two:















Both are very good footballers. I'm not saying they are horrendous at what they do by any stretch of the imagination but they are as good as they are going to get. One is 27 years old and can't retain possession for his team and loves the 'hopeless but great when it comes off three times out of 20 forty yard pass' while the other is 30 years old next birthday and must be bricking it the day Makelele retires and is asked to track back.

On this Grand Slam, Super Doupa Sunday, both were OUTCLASSED by a younger player who possesses immeasurable more talent than either..........................

Let the debate begin.

FFL Week 16

Apologies for the late posting of scores. I blame Christmas.

Well, another strange week. Mike's charge up the table continues with an impressive 15 points, in a week in which the next highest scorer was his brother with just 7. Everyone else scored 6 apart from Sid who only managed 3.

Scores:

	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	215
31	2nd	Rico	184
50	3rd	Mike	165
56	4th	Nick Ath	159
68	5th	Sid	147
70	6th	Nick PC	145
90	7th	James	125
##	8th	Theo	114
##	9th	Don	113

No transfers. That's all folks!

Chrsitmas Nativity....................

....................on Merseyside!!!!!

FFL Week 15

This season is turning out to be the FFL equivalent of Groundhog Day. This week, it's the bit where Bill Murray punches the guy in the face on his way to the park.

Again, almost everyone gets into double points - Theo, this time you really are the exception, with 8 points. Again, Stathi pulls ahead with a 20-points haul. Again, one of his players has an outstanding week. Since Week 4, he's had a player score at least 6 points (with the exception of Week 11). It started with Fabregas (7 points twice) with the baton subsequently handed to Lescott, Hreirdarsson, Rooney (twice), Jenas (yes, even fucking Jenas) and now Gerrard (2 goals and 4 assists in 2 games). This translates into the following weekly totals: 12, 15, 10, 08, 16, 15, 9, 15, 17, 24, 7, 16, 15 and 20. Consider also the fact that he's had injuries to contend with, most notably Rooney and more recently Fabregas and Jenas (not to mention Hreirdarsson losing his place).

Anyway, enough bullshit. Here are the scores:

	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	209
32	2nd	Rico	177
56	3rd	Nick Ath	153
59	4th	Mike	150
65	5th	Sid	144
70	6th	Nick PC	139
96	7th	James	113
##	8th	Don	108
##	9th	Theo	108

With January within touching distance, it's no surprise that no transfers were made this week. Tonight, it's Newcastle v Fabregas-free Arsenal. Sigh.

FFL Week 14

A rare occurrence this week: everyone gets into double figures except poor Donald (not Theo, as someone previously stated), with just 7 points. This trend would suit Stathi at the top, who managed another decent score, 15, despite having both strikers out and Fabregas suspended.

It's hard to see how he'll be caught just now, but Mike's looking the most likely to do any catching. Again, he top scores with 18 and is taking tentative steps towards the front. However, his team has more weaknesses than Stathi's at the moment: Ben Haim and Milner are in and out, Sorensen doesn't look like he'll ever play again and Hleb is injured for a few weeks. By January though, this could all be very different. Scores:

	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	189
27	2nd	Rico	162
48	3rd	Nick Ath	141
51	4th	Mike	138
60	5th	Sid	129
61	6th	Nick PC	128
93	7th	Don	96
89	8th	Theo	100
89	9th	James	100

No transfers this week, but we did get an email from Legacy Hotels titled 'Expecting Friends and Family This Christmas?' Penis enlargement and debt consolidation emails, here we come.

The scores above don't include the midweek game between Blackburn and Villa. Until next week...

Best advert ever?

Quality advert.

World Class?

More like:


Now will people PLEASE accept that these two muppets are good footballers but nowhere near world class.
Is it really that difficult to pass the ball to someone who is wearing the same shirt as you?

RE: The Genius that it Steven Wright...

Just a few..

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


Link...http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html

FFL Update

No games this week, so only a transfer to report. Predictably, your stand-in chairman gets rid of that ex-footballer Michael Owen and buys Gabriel Agbonlahor. Sometimes, you've just got to surrender to the farce.

Pulling no punches................

Journalist comments on Rangers v Barcelona match. Translated from the editorial in the Elmundo Deportivo newspaper

"Dear Rangers supporters, never come back to Barcelona again. And not because your players themselves aren't a legitimate team. No, it's not because of that - the Nou Camp frequently hosts teams who are lazy, boring, who only defend, who run and kick their opponents, and who shouldn't be in elite competition. On top of this, Rangers merely defend, run at the opposition and play dirty. Their defenders are butchers, their midfielders, heavy-footed; and their strikers just stand there like the furniture.
But even apart from the footballing aspect, the best thing would be for Rangers never to return to Barcelona, because every time they do, they make a mess of the place. 35 years ago, you (the Rangers supporters) destroyed the seats at the Nou Camp. This time we have enjoyed no less than 48 hours of brawls, provocation, rackets, fights and common drunk women throughout the whole city, which you have fouled however you pleased.
Stay at home and vomit in your own living-room, urinate in your sitting-room corners, fight with your neighbours, the Celtic supporters (who deserve a prize just for putting up with you) and foul the streets of Glasgow instead. Don't come back here again, because it is not a laughing matter. And, by extension, don't play in the Champions League either. You are not at that level neither in a sporting nor human sense"

Self Pity City...............

And another example.

LINK

Photoshop Fabregas..............

The original photo has been 'altered'. Funny?

FFL Week 12

Points galore again this week. It's looking like a record-breaking season in terms of FFL points with all the top teams scoring plenty of goals. Top of the pile this week is Mike who seems to be putting together some good scores together after a slow start. With 20 this week, he's managed 37 in 2 weeks to mount a stout defence of his title.

However no one's competing with Stathi, despite the loss of Rooney for a month. When a potential blank week appears, up steps Jenas. With 16 points again this week, Stathi's lead stretches to 26. It's yet another poor week for Theo (6 points) who now joins James at the foot of the table, which looks like this:

	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	174
26	2nd	Rico	148
44	3rd	Nick Ath	130
54	4th	Mike	120
57	5th	Sid	117
61	6th	Nick PC	113
85	7th	Don	89
89	8th	Theo	85
89	9th	James	85

There were no transfers this week. Internationals coming up now too, so that'll be it for a couple of weeks. Mike, where are you?

FFL Week 11

Firstly, happy birthday to the soul brothers. Perhaps we'll be blessed with their presence on this blog one day. I know old people tend to be technophobic, but surely they can get a nephew to help them or something.

Our current champion Mike top scores this week with an impressive 17, after leader Stathi faltered somewhat with his lowest score of the season so far, 7. Things are beginning to bunch up for the chasing pack now and the next few weeks should see some movement there.

Fuckwit of the week is your chairman, with 5 pissy little points. I won't moan about injuries and all that crap. Who wants to hear it anyway?

So, the scores:

	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	158
24	2nd	Rico	134
37	3rd	Nick Ath	121
52	4th	Sid	106
53	5th	Nick PC	105
58	6th	Mike	100
77	7th	Theo	81
81	8th	James	77
87	9th	Don	71

Transfers:
Nick (that's me): OUT Sibierski (he's soooo shit) IN Kapo.
Sid: OUT: Scholes IN: PB Diop (as if Shevchenko wasn't bizarre enough last week - Sid, I expect a telephone argument soon).

Theo tried to buy Benni McCarthy. Hilarious mate. You might as well bid for Rooney and Fabregas while you're at it.

That's all for another week. Back to some midweek injury-watch.

FFL Week 10

It's football groundhog day again this week, as I'm sure everyone noticed over the weekend. The runaway leader has picked up pace yet again, scoring a momentous 24 points, 10 more than his nearest challenger this week and for the season so far. If this continues, we're looking at a score of 500 plus. Only Almunia, Brown, Bouma and Jenas failed to contribute.

At the other end Donald amazingly avoids being the turkey of the week once again, despite having 2 Man City defenders who both played the full 90 minutes. That accolade goes to Nick PC, with a mere 3 points.

The scores are as follows:

	FFL 2007/08 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	151
27	2nd	Rico	124
35	3rd	Nick Ath	116
52	4th	Nick PC	99
56	5th	Sid	95
66	6th	Mike	85
77	7th	Theo	74
83	8th	James	68
92	9th	Don	59

Transfers:

Sid rebuys Shevchenko for Johnson. Rico makes 2 transfers: Glen Johnson comes in for Enrique and Michael Johnson comes in for Geovanni.

Now over to Collars Up for the next episode in Mein Scousenschaften Kampf.

One year ago...

Time for a the ramblings of a man suffering from a serious case of indifferent non-chalance....

Rewind one year and the headlines were all about a London club whose manager was undermined by his board buying players he didn't want. That London club had got to a the FA Cup final the season before and had qualified for Europe for the first time in who knows how long. Unfortunately, the pressure of expectation at the start of the next season was too much and the club started off badly resulting in the manager getting the sack and the club just about staying up on the last day of the season. That was West Ham, this is Spurs. The question now is will we stay up? Not as ridiculous a question as it may have sounded a few weeks ago...

As for Martin Jol, from the minute our board were caught with their pants down it was only ever going one way. The fact that he was eventually fired BEFORE last night's game just about sums up our board. What a bunch of c*nts (and that's a word I don't like using). Our most successful manager in 25years gone in three seasons... who in their right mind will want to take over? I feel sorry for the man and I sincerely hope he gets a job he deserves somewhere soon.

As for me and no doubt other countless Spurs fans last night was one of the strangest atmospheres I've experienced or am likely to experience. Losing at home for the second time in 60yrs in Europe and the fans singing the name of the (at that moment!) ex-manager! Surreal.

That's the way to do it!

Arrogant, smug or class? You decide!

FFL Week 9

Mike has gladly (for him) handed me the baton until Christmas. A round of applause for Mike please gents.

So, here goes. It's an honour to take over on the week that Donald announces his return to form with the team of the week, scoring an impressive 18 points and improving his overall score by 50% in a single week. That must surely be a post-week 8 record. He's still getting fucked, but the arseholes of those ahead of him are finally within poking distance.

Stathi continues his relentless march towards a 2nd title with another large haul this week - 17 points. It came as no surprise to see Lescott grab another assist - as Stathi informed us last week, he'd done his research and found that Lescott and Hreirdarsson were both going for the golden boot this season. It should also be said that if Mark Shattenberg had two eyes instead of none, Lescott would've had two more assists. Shame.

Pauper of the week is Mike with a paltry 2 points, thanks to a late goal by Milner last night. So here are the scores:

Diff			Total Points
	1st	Stathi	127
17	2nd	Rico	110
19	3rd	Nick Ath	108
31	4th	Nick PC	96
41	5th	Sid	86
49	6th	Mike	78
59	7th	Theo	68
71	8th	James	56
73	9th	Don	54

One transfer to report. Nick PC gets rid of Ashton and buys Benjani (the surprise top striker so far this season, with 21 points). Interesting to note that Martins was his 2nd choice, who scored last night after your caretaker chairman dumped him for Owen. I'm sure there were giggles all round, but we'll see who laughs last.

This game makes one feel paranoid at times.

Your Caretaker

John Terry's ma

Want to know the origins and reasons for this flag?










Send me an email!!!

Did he really do that??????

I know I wear glasses but tell me my eyes were not deceiving me. Did everyone's favourite Scouse scally really TELL the ref to send Hibbert off?

Probably just as bad, but why did that twat of a ref put the yellow away as he was told to?

Imagine if Fabregas or Drogba went around charging at the ref and screaming like a banshee like Carragher did today.

Imagine any other player (not including that hero JT of course!) doing what Gerrard did today

And lets not even get started on what would have been the outcry and probable call for a public enquiry at governement level had Rooney done what Kuyt did.


I think the likes of Andy Gray, Martin Tyler and definitely Alan Green would have had a stroke.

Also what are people's opinions on this hypothesis: "rafa benitez is the luckiest manager in the Premiership"

Best footy advert ever?

FFL 2007 / 08 Week 8

I hereby take up McNick’s invitation to do the FFL scores up to Christmas. Thank-you very much.

A thousand apologies for taking my time with the scores – lucky for Mickey Mouse week then (International matches!). Too many things going on at the moment!!!

The scores:

Diff.	Pos.	Manager	Points
	1st	Stathi	110
8	2nd	Rico	102
16	3rd	Nick Ath	94
20	4th	Nick PC	90
33	5th	Mike	77
35	6th	Sid	75
42	7th	Theo	68
66	8th	James	44
74	9th	Don	36

Transfers:

Two gambles. McNick for St Michael of Owen (Welsh district) and me for getting Knight the weekend Villa face United but I figured if Villa get a good result he will be highlighted and Rozenhal is only worth 50p in an auction!

McNick – Martins OUT, Owen IN

Me – Rozenhal OUT, Knight IN

Quality link.............

Check this link out.

Definitely talking about us!!!

Along the lines of:

"I'm collars_up and I am addicted to........"

FFL 2007 / 08 Week 7

Sid has started his charge! After a slow start the 1999 champion (yes that’s right the last champion of the 20^th Century) top scored this week with a stunning 22 points. Add to his 17 points from last week and it has been a fortnight to remember for a man approaching his fourth decade!

Stathi still tops the table after scoring 12 points to increase his lead at the top to 13.

Donald is rather grateful Shorey scored as this buffered his negative score this week but still got him the Steve “where the hell is my defence” Coppell with a total of -5!

The (negative) points from the 4-4 Spurs match against Villa will be part of next week’s roundup. Bouma’s -3 brings Stathi closer to the rest of us!

I have checked all the scores and they should be up to date and correct!

Two transfers this week.

Stathi makes his first foray into the market with the astute signing of Manuel Almunia for Fridel. Don, not surprisingly gets rid of Shorey for Man. city’s Garrido

Table:

Difference	Position	Manager	Points
	1st	Stathi	98
13	2nd	Nick Ath	85
14	3rd	Rico	84
18	4th	Nick PC	80
32	5th	Mike	66
34	6th	Theo	64
36	7th	Sid	62
53	8th	James	45
80	9th	Don	18

Classic Strachan..........

On Wayne Rooney...
"It's an incredible rise to stardom; at 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]



Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesborough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.
Reporter: "Gordon, what will you take from today?"
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish, the expiry date is today.

Reporter: There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. So I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick - down negative man, down.

Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions"

Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then?
Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose!