Week 16

There'll be a change of tone from here on in. If abstinence from Mike's unique brand of ManUre-love and Scouse-hatred makes any of you go cold turkey over Christmas, you can relapse on Twitter (@delpieri).
Straight to business. Another huge week for Harry, with 24 points this weekend. Add that to last week's 28, and that's 52 points in a fortnight. I'm guessing that must be some kind of record. Remarkably, he's still not in the lead, but he's narrowed the gap between first and second to just 15 points. Rooney and van Persie were once again at the vanguard of his assault, scoring 9 points between them, but it was in every sense an all-round effort, with 8 of his team scoring at least 3 points each. If Stoke continue to keep clean sheets, with Begovic and Shawcross in his team he'll be guaranteed a 6-point head start every week. An interesting Christmas period coming up. The jump from second to third is now 30 points, after an average week for most managers. A terrible week for Rico, with -2, sees his recent challenge wane. The table (sorry about the formatting - someone kindly remind me how to paste properly):
Diff   Total Points Defence Midfield Attack   1st Nick Ath 174 47 91 24 15 2nd Harry 159 24 40 75 45 3rd Mike 129 62 46 19 49 4th Rico 125 42 25 54 49 5th James 125 2 53 46 60 6th Sid 114 44 47 20 61 7th Stathis 113 25 41 45 62 8th Theo 112 20 50 39 82 9th Nick Ach 92 27 24 36 102 10th Don 72 16 28 31
One transfer to report: Stathi rebuys Azpilcueta for Bertrand. So long, Your Chairman

Week whatever it is................

Sorry chaps

Been way too busy / lazy / preoccupied / resigned to not winning it this year (delete as appropriate) to update the scores.

What's been happening in the world of football since I have been away?

It's a fahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhct, Chelsea are now managed by the FSW (fat Spanish waiter)  - fucking hilarious. YCMIU.

Between the plastic fans at the Emptihad and the Bin Laden I'm not sure who boo the loudest.

United still have no midfield and the only player who looked like helping in this area (Anderson) has again injured his fat arse.

Spurs fans are back in love with AVB...........well some of them, sometimes, when they win / score / don't concede / don't sub Defoe (please delete as appropriate)

Stewart Downing has still not scored in the league

I have been to watch England schoolboys (Wales and Derbyshire) as much as United this season (twice!)

In the FFL, I have done some auditing and I found out that I had not included any points for McNick's Ramirez for a few weeks (total 5). As a result, the three time (soon to be fourth time) champion has a very healthy lead.

Subs this week:

McNick
Carroll (£35 million 'footballer' on loan...........ha ha ha ha ha ha ha) OUT Lambert IN

Sid
Nani OUT Puncheon IN
Gervinho OUT Lukaku IN

Harry
Cabaye OUT Johnson (of the Andy at Sunderland variety) IN

Coming to the point of the season where I think it is someone elses turn to do all this - seriously struggling with time at the moment. So, as the bus conductor used to say "next please"

Regards................

Week 11 Subs

Would have posted these last night but was in hospital getting my wank hand seen to.....

Subs available for tomorrow's games:

Mike

Duff OUT Dembele In

Harry

Krul OUT Begovic IN

Gallas OUT  W Reid IN

Rico

Park OUT J. Morrison IN (beating Harry's bid of Routledge by 0.2m)

J. Evans OUT  Nastasic IN

FFL Week 11

Here is the latest table with two weeks worth of scores

Plenty of tears and bemoaning of his luck and yet TC is right in contention, only 27 points off the top.

With Tevez and Cazorla amassing 14 points it was a good haul but not enough for team of the week.

Pieri brothers right in McNick's slip stream. Rico also scored 14 with 11 from his front pair ensuring he still has the most prolific attack (54 points)

Top score goes to yours truly with 19 thanks to seven players scoring and a total of 8 points just from the north London Derby (promise I won't mention this again messrs Stathi, Sid, Don and TC).

Interesting stat:

McNick top with the best midfield (70 points)
Rico second with the best attack (54 points)
Pieri Snr third with the best defence (46 points)

Harry wins the Sir Alex "when will you fucking learn? Stop using your tombola to pick a team and realise that Giggs and Scholes cannot play together in the same team" Ferguson award for fuck up of the week with -5 points.

Here is the table:

Here is the only sub that was eligible for THIS weekend:

Nick PC
Lambert OUT Hernandez (Chicarito) IN

The Team We Might Have Had

We (long suffering) Spurs' fans have, over the years, been linked with a numebr of world class players only to see them sign for some one else...luckily what hasn't ever really happened is that we rushed to buy someone pathetically average instead. So, when I read this little story earlier you can understand why it made me smile:

Sweden striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic, 31, came close to joining Arsenal in 2001 - even posing in a Gunners shirt - but despite Malmo agreeing a £3m fee for their player, he went to Ajax and Arsenal signed Francis Jeffers from Everton for £8m.

So next challenge is to the list the greatest team we never had....

Week 10 Subs

Two this week:

Harry
Dembele OUT Routledge IN

Theo
Bent OUT Cisse IN

The gift that keeps giving..............

I tried. I really, really tried. But I can't resist.

Rodgers interview after the Newcastle game:

"Suarez does for us a similar thing to what Messi does for Barcelona"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................................


And don't tell me he is not the David Brent of the Premier League.

FFL Week 10

A low scoring week FFL-wise but a potentially significant one in the Premier League

Chelsea, City, Spurs, Everton and Arsenal all drop points. United are TOTL and no one is more surprised than your Chairman. I am stunned by the way an ineffective and frankly poor excuse for a midfield is now top of the pile.

United have no player in midfield to compare with Mata, Cazorla, Hazard, Silva, Toure, Dembele. Before you say Nani, I will say have a look at the match against Chelsea in midweek. Incredible goal but he has too many brain farts. No intelligence and very, very frustrating.

Valencia is very one-dimensional but works his nuts off and is a rock. Who else? Kagawa has yet to really show his worth and is currently injured.

But having both Rooney and RvP is what is giving United a chance. Is there a better front pair in the world?

Yet again Ferguson has a TEAM working for one goal – a true bunch of winners while the likes of Chelsea and City in particular still look like a bunch of individuals.

Surprised Spurs lost at home – cunting bastards blew my coupon!

As for Arsenal. Woeful. How the fuck has Santos got 22 caps for Brazil? HOW? And can someone please explain to me how Ramsey gets a game for a TOP club in the Premier League? I now realise fans’ anger at the board.

Anyway, my half term week took me to Stamford Bridge to see an epic game. Couldn’t give shit about the result but a top, top away. Brilliant chants, plenty of banter and Clattenburg songs galore – the Rentboys were put in their place.

The next day I took a 400 MILE round trip to Port Talbot Town FC to see one of my students make his England debut in the Victory Shield match against Wales. He’s in Tottenham’s Academy and for me (no bias here btw!) stood out as man of the match. The boy has talent and has every chance of making it at the top level. Remember the name – Joshua Onomah. He will this week be playing for Spurs away to Barca in the Under-19 Next Gen Series. He is not 16 until April!

Anyway, here is this week’s table:

 

McNick still on top thanks to 10 points and top score, sharing the honour with Harry.

Nick PC, Sid, Don and James all bottom scored with -1. Surely this is a first in FFL history???

Subs after tomorrow’s deadline and I promise not to fuck it up this week although I have had connection and internet issues this week!

Weekend Predictions

After midweek shenanigans, goals and the rest, here is this weekend’s predictions

United – Arsenal 3-1

The big match sees RvP welcome his old club, the club he captained, the club who wouldn’t pay him his worth and the club he won nothing with. Will he get booed? Who cares?

Arsenal have the league’s best defence, United the best attack. Something has to give today.

Nailed on RvP will score and his reaction / celebration will say much about whether he is a total cunt or a little cunt.

Cazorla has been a bit quiet of late but expect him and Wiltshire to have a complete field day in the middle of the park where there used to be a United midfield.
Don’t fancy Santos’ chances against Valencia and United’s best chance of winning is to simply go toe-to-toe with Arsenal – much like last season and surtp[risngly how they beat Chelsea last weekend.

Fulham v Everton: 2-1
Could be a good game this. Fulham good at home and the folly of getting rid of Jol continues to grate on many Spurs fans. Three draws on the trot for Everton and Fulham just 2 points behind them in 7^th place I take Fulham to edge this.  

Norwich v Stoke: 1-2
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. A Championship game. Next please.

Sunderland v Aston Villa: 2-0
Sunderland to win. O’Neill will win against Villa.

Swansea v Chelsea: 1-1
Chelsea. Where do we start? Against racism since last Sunday, but ended on Wednesday. A moronic series of events have turned everyone against the rentboys. The vitriol on the face of many Chelsea fans was a sight to behold n Wednesday as every pro Clattenburg chant was sung by United. A team that in the Capital Two Cup ended the macth with probably 7 starters for today’s game against one for United says much about Di Matteo.
He clearly doesn;t pick the team, doesn’t buy the players, doesn;t choose the captain. He even has to be babysat during press conferences. What the fuck does he do apart from spout shit?
Anyway, with Mata possibly injured away to Swansea may not be an easy game. A draw?

Tottenham Hotspur v Wigan: 4-0
AVB divides opinion. There are those hate him and there are those that REALLY hate him. Midweek was a bit of a disaster. At home this should be an easy three points. Maybe not the 9-1 of a few seasons back but certainly a goal fest. Please play Adebayor you ginger twat.

West Ham v Manchester City: 1-3
Come on the ‘ammers.

QPR v Reading: 3-1
Finally QPR to get a win. Reading are Tesco-value team. In fact their strip is very Tesco-value.

Liverpool v Newcastle: 3-3
How will Brenten Rodgers have spun the midweek defeat? Joe Cole was bu all account shockingly bad. Goals are a problem but at home Liverpool will edge this one. Suarez more than any other player has shouldered reposnoibility for carrying the team. Skills and goals he is easily their best player. As for Newcastle, can someone please smash Pardew in teh facec? Smug git. Still, attacking-wise the barcodes are good and will exploit Liverpoo’s backline. High scoring draw.

West Brom v Southampton: 1-0
I like West Brom. Will win this and continue their good form. Southampton? Poor, very, very poor.

FFL Week Substitutions

Nick PC
Sigurdsson OUT Nasri IN
(beating McNick's attempt by 0.3m)

Don
Zabaletta OUT Baird IN

FFL Week 9

Wow.

What a super duper Sunday.

I love Mark Clattenburg. More than Howard Webb.

Torres didn't dive? Horseshit. Just because it may have been a foul does not mean he didn't dive. Torres is a cunt and he rolled around as though he had been the victim of a two footed tackle.

He could have stayed on his feet very, very, very easily. He didn't. He dived to try and GAIN AN ADVANTAGE, and that, by the letter of the fucking law is a yellow card. Torres is a cheat, a fucking cheat. He was born a cheat, and he will die a cheat. Ladyboy cunt.

And let's rewind. Torres' first yellow is a red all day. Kicking Cleverely in the chest. THE. CHEST. And he followed through.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs, no sympathy whatsoever for Chelsea after recent Atkinson-reffed games. Cost us the title.

Belated justice for recent games. Fletcher non-foul. Drogba TEN yards offside goal at OT. Luiz non-sending off at the Bridge and penalty v Carrick.

Fuck off you rentboy cunts.

Anyway back to sanity of the race for the 18th Dwight Yorke Cup.

Joint leaders this week - Harry top scores with 18 and with McNick's fat zero those two lead the way.

Top five separated by 15 points. Bottom four by 10. Still all to play for.

 

Just listening to 606 and Tarquin from Surrey is blaming Hernandez' celebration for a Chelsea fan getting a coin thrown at her from the Chelsea end. Beggars belief.

Subs after tomorrow's deadline.

Premier League Predictions

Predictions this week................
Aston Villa v Norwich: 0-0 or 3-3
Both shit teams, managed by average managers, involving average players. Expect a dire nil all or goals galore.

Arsenal v QPR: 3-0
Back to reality for Gooners. Two defeats on the bounce after early season orgy and Arsenal fans are up in arms. After every man and his dog sucking on Cazorla’s dick, he has been distinctly quiet recently. The AGM sounded fun. As for QPR it’s tombola time in the Hughes household as he will invariably make more changes to his team again. An Arsenal league loss at home is as rare as Arsenal fans singing the praises of their team so expect this to be an easy three points.

Reading v Fulham: 1-1
Don’t care. Move on.

Stoke v Sunderland: 2-0
Stoke really are a loathsmome team. Cunt manager. Cunt players, playing cunt football. Sounds like Arsenal under GG!

Wigan Athletic v West Ham: 2-2
Could be a good game this. Both teams playing open football.

Manchester City v Swansea: 10-0
The bestest team with the mostest money and bestest fans in the bestest stadium and the bestest training facilities will score the bestest goals. FUCK OFF you BLUE BITTER CUNTS.

Everton v Liverpool: 2-2
Guaranteed red card in this one. Take your pick. Suarez for two dives? Skrtl just for looking like that. Fellaini who is actually a snidey cunt. Watch those elbows and high feet. Jojo ‘stand up’ Shelvey?
Anyway Liverpool – the gift that keeps giving. Loving (David) Brenten Rodgers. That fly on the wall programme is quality.
Great reviews here http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/9630493/Brendan-Rodgers-plays-David-Brent.html
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/blog/_/name/espnfcunited/id/719
http://liverpool.theoffside.com/2012/10/10/3481332/being-liverpool-ep-4-david-brent-joke

New stadium plans have been changed 346087545 times. Club will now redevelopment existing ground. Liverpool are unbeaten in their last three Premier League games (W2, D1), marking it their longest run in 2012 – its OCTOBER!!!! Suarez is not a cheat but it is referees picking on him. But I do like Raheem Sterling.
Goals, yellow cards. Maybe a couple of reds and plenty of cars without their hub caps. Another typical Merseyside derby.

Newcastle v West Brom: 2-2
West Brom look good so far this season while Alan MR SMUG PRICK Pardew has clearly seen all his Christmas come at once with an EIGHT year contract. EIGHT years?

Southampton v Tottenham Hotspur: 1-3
Injuries and goalkeeper uncertainty couldn’t hit Southmapton at a worst time and they will get battered against Spurs. That’s if gareth Bale doesn’t have to go shopping for the missus. Last week he pulled out of the game to be by her bedside. Has she given birth to the little monkey yet? While Lionel Messi told his missus on the same weekend – “fuck you, hold it in for while longer I’m off to score another hattrick.” The difference between world class reality and world class paper talk.
Easy away win.

Chelsea v Manchester United: 2-2
Not even going to watch it. Dire midfield. Found out this week that the last CENTRAL midfielder Fergie bought was Anderson. In 2008. RvP and Rooney look class and will score but no chance United won’t concede. Mata, Hazard, Oscar will run rings round Carrick, erm Fletcher and erm..................
Expect an airing of the following:

John Terry's a racist
He wears a racist's hat
His mother likes to shoplift
His father deals in crack.

Ashley Cole's his sidekick
who changed his story twice
Rio fucking hates him
tweeted “ha ha choc ice.”

Or variations thereof.

FFL Week 8

Apologies for update being late.....way too busy

But you will be pleased to know it is half term this week! Woohoo!

A mere six points separates the top six.

Here is the table:

Subs:

Stathi
Nasri OUT Wilshire IN

Badminton...........

Oh dear Sid

PLEASE CLICK

FFL week 7

Updated table after two weeks - sorry been busy.

Tighter than a eunichs underpants

Can't be bothered to write anything else.

El Calssico about to start.

Real Franco are 11/4 to win.

Viva Ronaldo (158 goals in 154 games)


Two transfers last week:

SID
Graham OUT Gervinho IN

THEO
Hibbert OUT Buttner IN

See ya

30 years since this............

.........how old do you feel now?????

Great article

Controvery time.

Couldn't resist.

Have held back for too long.

At least I didn't write this.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/liverpool/9561203/Liverpool-advert-reveals-Anfields-delusions-of-grandeur.html

Predictions

Right, a new feature (not sure for how long though)

Weekend preview and score predictions:



Arsenal v Chelsea: 2-1
Arsenal have surprised many with their results and cutting edge. Maybe Wenger isn’t the cunt Arsenal fans think he is and that he actually does know how to run a football club.
Definites for this game - Cole will get booed. Terry will get booed. If Arsenal go 1-0 down, they will get booed. 
Cazorla is quality and the midfield three are the best in the league at the moment – and without Wilshire! (Who allegedly has fully recovered from his injury but has been given extended 'time off' to deal with matters of the nose!!!! (a la Rosicky)
Chelsea look good also but something is missing. Torres still doesn’t look right and are there too many playmakers? Marin, Oscar, Hazard, Mata. Where is the width?
Oh and that cunt Terry is still captain, apparently. Vile, loathsome, odious, cunt of a man. Please can Diaby smash him into pieces?

Everton v Southampton: 3-2
Goals galore in this game. Southampton play with freedom, Everton the surprise of the season.

Fulham v Manchester City: 0-0
Berbatov out of today’s game (according to Skysports) so could be a problem scoring for them. City have not convinced. A draw?

Norwich v Liverpool: ?
Please tell me you have been watching that fly-on-wall Liverpool documentary? They are the gift that keeps giving. Brendan Rogers in this week’s episode: “You've got the lot. Just stay on your feet. You can press up to the ball, just stay on your feet” Yep, to jonjo Shelvey.
Another one:
“Today, Liverpool are at Harvard University practice field. Class is in session, with Professor Brendan Rodgers...”
Seriously, this is fucking comedy.
The game? Norwich to win 10-0

Reading v Newcastle: 0-3
Reading are shit. Pardew has just been handed an EIGHT year contract. Easy away win. Question is, more goals than naked, fat fuckers in the away end?

Stoke v Swansea: 0-0
Next

Sunderland v Wigan: 3-0
Fletcher to keep scoring. Wigan to keep whinging.

Manchester United v Tottenham: 1-2
Yes it’s Chris Foy the referee. Yes he will give United a penalty. And yes United will miss it.
"Seriously worried about United’s midfield" (no not this season, I said this FIVE years ago). Anyway, the granny shagger is back so maybe the game can be played away from Spurs’ more dominant and better balanced midfield. Says a lot when United's player of the season so far is Rafael!!!!
United have yet more injuries. Saw a stat this morning. In the last three FULL seasons, United have had 50 (FIFTY) players injured for six weeks or more. Fergie, forget sorting the midfield out get rid of your medical staff!!!
Difficult game to call. Spurs have a shocking record at the Theatre of Dreams but United are currently playing shockingly bad. Spurs to win it late...................

Aston Villa v West Brom: 3-3
Brummy derby. Give a shit.