Setanta's little helper

I've never managed to listen to Gabriele Marcotti without wanting to remove my innards and eat them, but Saturday night's Serie A commentary on Setanta took crap commentary to a new level.

Palermo are playing Lazio, someone is caught offside and Marcotti (as is his wont) starts pouring fecal matter from his mouth about how the linesman was wrong. A replay then proves the linesman was right, and Marcotti comes out with this gem: "The Mac Daddy was ligit." Oh yes he did.


"I'm Italian, honest. Listen to the way I pronounce Italian names." You're a cock.

FFL Week 21

Another week, another spreadsheet disaster. If it wasn't so tight at the top, I'd suggest ending the season early and planning for the next (chipping in for a new laptop for the Chairman, new spreadsheet design for 2007, maybe some office furnishings).

Anyway, it's been another eventful week at the top, with James regaining the upper hand, albeit late on. Goals from Nolan and Barton led a recovery from what was looking like a poor week's scoring. No fireworks from anyone this week, Mike top scoring with a modest 11. Only Theo managed nothing at all.

So, the scores are:

1st James 259
2nd Nick Ach 257
3rd Mike 247
4th Sid 235
5th Nick Ath 230
6th Donald 209
7th Rico 197
8th Theo 186
9th Steve 173
10th Stathi 135

Two transfers to report:

Sid dumps the ever-absent Emre for Steve Sidwell (the 1st Reading player to be bought in FFL history - well done Sid).

Theo grabs Montella following van Persie's injury woe.

And that's it for another week. 29 points between 1st and 5th is as tight as it's ever been at this stage...

Did YOU do this at Christmas????

Be honest, who did this in Christmas' past??????

CLICK HERE

Banner of the season???

Seen at the Chelsea - Nottingham Forest FA Cup match:

Shaun Wright-Philips? £21m

Andriy Shevchenko? £30m

2 European Cups? priceless!

Putting the Rent-Boys in their place.

FFL Week 20

Well, an intriguing week has just passed. Lots of high scores, a few surprises and more shenanigans at the top. A premature ejaculation of joy came from James before learning a valuable lesson: never get your dick out before the week (or season even) is through.

Nevertheless, James it is who top scored this week with a crucial 23 points. Pedersen finally finding form and Chimbonda chipping in with a valuable 6. Trouble is, the nearest challenger, Nick PC, scored 16 himself, despite having 4 chalked off for Meite. This included 6 points for Arteta in the same match that saw Andy Johnson get his injury. Never get your dick out...

After a spectacular 3 or 4 weeks, I hit rock bottom with -4 for the week, the lowest score of the season so far. At the same time, Ooijer is out for the season during a rare Blackburn clean sheet. That's enough solipsism from me.

Anyway, the table:

1 Derby 56
2 Birmingham 53
3 Preston 53
4 West Brom 49
5 Southampton 49
6 Cardiff 46

Sorry, the other table:

1st James 251
2nd Nick Ach 249
3rd Mike 236
4th Sid 234
5th Nick Ath 220
6th Donald 203
7th Rico 190
8th Theo 186
9th Steve 166
10th Stathi 132

Transfer action:

Mike rebuys Cech for Cudicini, as predicted.

2 bids came in for Downing (who I thought still belonged to Donald, despite spending 40 hours in front of the spreadsheet this week trying to fix a bug, but what the hell do you fuckers care about that, or even appreciate it?). So, Sid came in with Emre (£3.8m) whilst Nick came in with Duff (£4.6m). Not even close. This could be the beginning of the end ladies and gentlemen. As for Donald, it's pull your hair out time. Downing scored 11 points this week, but all he's got to show for it is a pointless (in more ways than one) Andy Reid.

James takes a calculated risk, trading in the crocked Johnson for Adebayor who will surely be deputising for van Persie for a few weeks. It'll be an interesting end to the season, but my cash is on Nick. Not me, the other one.

Bring on the FA Cup. Up the Rams.

Post FA Cup scores

Nick PC extends his lead at the top after a bountiful midweek harvest of 9 points. The latest scores after the midweek FA Cup matches were taken into account are:

"FFL 2006/07
LEAGUE TABLE"

Total Points
1st Nick Ach 242
2nd James 233
3rd Mike 229
4th Nick Ath 227
5th Sid 226
6th Donald 205
7th Rico 192
8th Theo 179
9th Steve 156
10th Stathi 127

Chelsea Top of the League

Chelsea moved to the top of the Premiership this morning after successfully buying Watford’s points. The £9m transfer came as a surprise to the rest of the Premiership, but with Watford already having given up any hope of staying in the Premiership, the audacious purchase of all their points benefits both clubs.
Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon commented ‘These ten points are exactly the sort of boost the club needs at the moment and could be the difference that helps us retain the Premiership. For Watford, the money will allow them to rebuild their squad to have another tilt at promotion next year. As they say ‘you can’t take them with you’. ’
The champions now have 45 points, although their goal difference has of course suffered, particular considering the four goals that Chelsea now ‘conceded’ against Chelsea. But the transfer puts them four points ahead of Manchester United who are now rumoured to be in negotiations with Charlton over a loan of some of their points until the end of the season.
Chelsea’s share value rose after the news. However the company fell several places on the FTSE 100 index after they were deducted points for fielding an illegible accountant.

Corrected FFL table

A few (well, more than a few) corrections to the scores following a complicated Xmas period with FA Cup scores in the mix. Is anyone checking their individual scores? Doesn't really look like it. Anyway, here's the revised table (without midweek FA Cup scores included):

1st Nick Ach 233
2nd James 228
3rd Mike 226
4th Sid 226
5th Nick Ath 224
6th Donald 196
7th Rico 192
8th Theo 179
9th Steve 156
10th Stathi 125

I'll post a revised table later on today with midweek FA Cup points included if anyone is interested.

All change at the top..................

19 points covers the first five positions.

The biggest mover is McNick with a HUGE 78 points in three weeks moving him towards striking distance of the top which is occupied by the other Nick.

A poor week for James means we have a new leader and could it possibly be a new name on the Dwight Yorke Cup Trophy?

Looks like an exciting second half of the season in what could be the closest FFL in history!

Here is the table:

		Total Points	Diff
1st	Nick Ach	233
2nd	James	228	5
3rd	Mike	226	7
4th	Sid	225	8
5th	Nick Ath	214	19
6th	Rico	197	36
7th	Donald	188	45
8th	Theo	177	56
9th	Steve	152	81
10th	Stathi	128	105

One transfer from yours truly: Cech for Cudicini

Scousers at it again...

Thought I'd get in before Mike on this one...

As if getting special dispensation to play in the Champions' League wasn't enough, those cheeky scouse chaps have gone to back to footie's governing bodies and asked for special permission to take Javier "West Ham are a big club" Mascherano on loan. Personally I think this is simply testing the waters...if they get the go ahead on this one, it will be swiftly followed up with a special dispensation to replay all cup games they lose because the manager (for whom I am rapidly losing all respect) clearly wasn't given enough financial backing from his board. Hmmm, £7M for Peter Crouch.....

James opens up a gap.........

See told you! JN has opened up a 10 point gap at the top of the FFL League after the New Year / FA Cup period. Indeed, JN's haul of 14 points was more than mine over the past 2 weeks!
In effect my team's misifiring coupled with Sid and Nick Ach scoring 25 and 16 respectively has had a consertina effect with 5 points separating second to fourth place.
Top score this week has gone to Rico with a mamoth 29 with a significant contribution of eight points from Arsenal's Justin Hoyte. That's right, Hoyte. Not only is he flying the flag for Englishmen everywhere in that French quarter of London known as 'Eeeslintonne' but he has given Rico's team some hope for the rest of the season. Only 48 points behind top spot!

Top scoring individual was not Mr Deflection despite a hattrick against Macclesfield. That honour was reserved for Thierry Henry with 12 points. As much as his return looks to have revitalised Arsenal, it could just be what allows Sid to make an FFL title challenge.
Elsewhere, Stathi is still rooted after a 10 point haul but this is not low enough to give him the 'Tesco Value Award' for budget points total as that has gone to yours truly with a pathetic 6!

Here is the table and as I stated last week, please check your scores and email me any mistakes.

		Total Points	Diff
1st	James	229
2nd	Mike	219	10
3rd	Nick Ach	218	11
4th	Sid	214	15
5th	Nick Ath	194	35
6th	Rico	181	48
7th	Donald	176	53
8th	Theo	173	56
9th	Steve	146	83
10th	Stathi	119	110

One transfer to note but THREE attenpts to get the same player:

I bid Francis for Kieron Dyer but never had a prayer once Rico and James were in the running.
James bid Nolan for Dyer but was beaten to it by Rico who has given up the talents of Joe Cole for the aforementioned injury prone 'billy big boots' of Tyneside!

That's it for the week and I can't post this without saying how I thoroughly enjoyed Arsenal's recent scouse bashing! The 6-3 game really rammed it home why Gerrard has been played on the right by Benitez - because even against a bunch of kids he was totally dominated in the middle when he hasn't got at least two players helping him in the middle. It was so embarrasing for 'Stevie G' that I was sure the interviewer was going to ask him at the end of the game whether it was dark in Fabregas' pocket!!!!

So long for this week. (Nick when are you back from Egypt?????????)