FFL Week 32

Sphincters will be tight as we navigate our FFL dreadnoughts through the narrow straights of the closing weeks. Well, two sphincters will be tight; the rest of us can sit back and contemplate another season of overpriced flops, bad transfers and untimely injuries.

And if this past week is anything to go by the drama will be nail-biting and unpredictable. Who foresaw four goals for Arsenal, let alone Arshavin, at Anfield? And what about Donald's new boy Mark Noble missing a penalty against Chelsea, essentially costing him six points (Alex picking up another clean sheet for Chelsea).

Had James not had an impressive week himself, with 19 points, Donald's 31 would have put him in the lead. And with just 13 points separating them, James will be hoping that Adebayor gets his act together for the last few games of the season. Donald's remaning transfer could come into play too.

The table:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	367
13	2nd	Don	354
46	3rd	Stathi	321
48	4th	Mike	319
49	5th	Nick PC	318
50	6th	Sid	317
53	7th	Theo	314
81	8th	Nick Ath	286

Donald used one of his two remaning transfers to replace the crocked Jagielka with Yobo.

Your How-The-Fuck-Did-I-End-Up-81-Points-Behind-This-Game-Sucks-Cocks Chairman

Great photo............

It wasn't Howard Webb's fault..........................

DIVINE INTERVENTION?????

Losing it...

I haven't figured out how to embed video clips on this thing yet but this is unbelievable for so many different reasons...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOeSAsELyAA

COYS

FFL Week 31

As the rest fade away, step forward Donald. Quite how he's managed to mount a challenge with Jo and Alves up front for most of the season is beyond the ken of your humbler than humble chairman. But 66 points from Frank Lampard - with 14 in the last three weeks alone - helps, as does a strong defence with Jagielka, Terry and Evra.

Donald's 12-point week seems him pull to within 25 points of James and, crucially, before the goal-orgy at Anfield on Tuesday. Oh what end-of-season drama awaits us this season my fellow managers.

Here are the scores:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	348
25	2nd	Don	323
37	3rd	Mike	311
38	4th	Stathi	310
39	5th	Nick PC	309
39	6th	Theo	309
42	7th	Sid	306
67	8th	Nick Ath	281

Finally reaslising that he's on the cusp on joining the hat-trick club, Donald makes two of his remaining four transfers, buying Noble and Schwartzer for Nani and Given. About time too. And Sid snaps up yet another full back, with Ivanovic replacing Curtis Davies. Just before John O'Shea and Gary Neville got injured in midweek. How I laughed.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 30

Apologies. I've been busy with shit.

Judging by the dearth of comments, no one really cares much for an update anyway. Let's face it - we all sense a creeping futility in the universe of FFL. With time running out, the lead seems to be getting stretched every week.

It's interesting to note, though, that James's lead of 31 points almost corresponds to the contribution made by his last 3 subs - Leighton Baines, Matt Taylor and Adebayor - who have scored 32 points since bought. They alone scored 14 points between them last weekend. And that's where this game is either won or lost.

The table:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	342
31	2nd	Nick PC	311
31	3rd	Don	311
38	4th	Theo	304
39	5th	Stathi	303
40	6th	Mike	302
42	7th	Sid	300
64	8th	Nick Ath	278

No transfers to report.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 29

Here's what I wrote last week:

In reality though, Vidic will be back and scoring heavily again within a fortnight. Carvalho will get injured again, letting Alex back in. Nasri will nip in with the odd assist and Villa will get back on track.

I'm sure Vidic will prove me right. Carvalho was indeed injured, with Alex coming back in, and Nasri nipped in with more than a mere assist. Okay, so Villa are nowhere near the railtracks yet, but with Leyton Baines, Luca Modric and Matt Taylor all nipping in with goals this week, Villa's derailment is a bearable one. And they will get back on track, you'll see.

No prizes for guessing whose team top scored this week: Neville xi-Neville, Sid now threatens to make a late charge with Gerrard's dead ball hat-trick and assist contributing more than half his total of 20. At the other end of the scoring spectrum Mike's topsy-turvy season once again turned turvy: he managed just 2 points.

Despite James' more-than-acceptable week, the fight is still very much on. Here's the table:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	317
18	2nd	Nick PC	299
21	3rd	Stathi	296
25	4th	Don	292
36	5th	Sid	281
38	6th	Theo	279
40	7th	Mike	277
57	8th	Nick Ath	260

There were no transfers this week because O'Shea got a game.

Internationals are on this weekend. Yawn.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 28

Vidic banned for two games, his confidence shot. Carvalho returns, signalling the end of Alex's participation in any Chelsea games this season. For ever, actually. Arshavin's explosive impact at Arsenal means the end for Nasri. Ashley Young's been found out, as have Aston Villa as a team.

I can already see that silver medal gleaming in James's silver medal cabinet. In reality though, Vidic will be back and scoring heavily again within a fortnight. Carvalho will get injured again, letting Alex back in. Nasri will nip in with the odd assist and Villa will get back on track. But this week has offered us all some hope.

None more so than your heretofore humble chairman. Finally, finally, a squad that's more or less playing and scoring. 19 points in fact, giving me the manager of the week award for the first time this year. And as you already suspected, James was bottom with 4. Shame his nearest challenger, Nick PC, only managed 5 himself.

The table looks like this:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	308
15	2nd	Stathi	293
16	3rd	Nick PC	292
26	4th	Don	282
33	5th	Mike	275
33	6th	Theo	275
47	7th	Sid	261
51	8th	Nick Ath	257

Sid's on-off love affair with Gary Neville continued this week. Now it's off again after Sid was caught in a motorway service station toilet with John O'Shea. He also drafted in Ryan Giggs for David Bentley. He's left with one transfer now - just enough to buy Neville again in April. And Donald kept up his habit of bidding for players he can't have: this time Fabregas was the target.

Watch me, here I come.

Maybe.

Your Chairman.

FFL Week 27

A big, big week for a big, big man launching his big, big challenge. Last week's calamity looks to have been an aberration, not a surrender. With 26 points, Stathi pulls to within twenty points of the lead - a mere one week's points, as he demonstrated this week. The points came from everywhere but no one outscored Rooney, with 2 goals and an assist for the week.

At the other end of the week's wheel of fortune were Sid and Theo, scoring 4 and 5 respectively. It's looking increasingly like a three-horse race.

Here are the scores:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	304
17	2nd	Nick PC	287
20	3rd	Stathi	284
35	4th	Theo	269
36	5th	Don	268
37	6th	Mike	267
48	7th	Sid	256
66	8th	Nick Ath	238

For some, the dice were thrown for the last time this week. Nick PC bought the in-form Aaron Lennon for the crocked Arteta, and Mike bought the hirsute Fellaini for Wilson Palacios.

And we're into the final furlong...

Your Chairman

FFL Week 26

Opportunity knocked this week, with our leader managing a meagre one point. Did anyone answer? Did they fuck. Top score went to Donald with 12 points, but he's one off the bottom so no one really cares. He and Sid were the only managers to get into double figures, but no one cares about Sid's team either, apart from Sid.

Stathi's mounting challenge that began last week ended in ignominy this week - he made -2.

True, there were only 8 fixtures, but I'm sure most of us expected more.

Here's the table:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	288
13	2nd	Nick PC	275
18	3rd	Theo	270
34	4th	Stathi	254
35	5th	Sid	253
40	6th	Mike	248
42	7th	Don	246
71	8th	Nick Ath	217

No more dithering on the transfer front this year for James. He makes his last two transfers, drafting in Leighton Baines and Emmanuel Adebayor for Glen Johnson and Daren't Bend. I don't know what why I just typed that; it felt right, but it makes no sense.

So long comrades,

Your Chairman

Rafa's cracking up part 1387538

What a genius!!!!

Rafa Benitez has become embroiled in a bizarre exchange with BBC football reporter Ian Dennis after refusing to reveal why he selected Javier Mascherano at right-back for the game with Sunderland on Tuesday.

Questioned over his team selection following the 2-0 win, Benitez was at his most elusive when interviewed by Dennis. While the interview has been cut from the BBC website, Radio Five Live has provided a full airing of the lengthy game of question and avoidance.

Benitez: "Mascherano had to play there so we needed to do it in this way."

Dennis: "Jamie [Carragher] has played there before so why didn't you use him?"

Benitez: "Mascherano had to play there."

Dennis: "But why?"

Benitez: "Because Mascherano had to play there."

Dennis: "Was it a tactical decision?"

Benitez: "No. He had to play there."

Dennis: "Ok. Any news on your contract?"

Benitez: "No news. We have to enjoy our victory tonight."

Dennis: "You're not helping me much, Rafa! Come on! No clues?"

Benitez: "As I said, the best thing to do is enjoy the victory. I think everyone will be happy tonight."

Dennis: "Enjoy your evening."

Benitez's reluctance to discuss his selection at right-back was mirrored before the game. The Liverpool website still carries the following exchange made between the Spaniard and an unidentified radio hack in the wake of Saturday's 2-0 defeat at the Riverside:

Journalist: "Your injury problems meant you had to put Martin Skrtel at right-back against Middlesbrough. Could you explain why you didn't use Jamie Carragher in that position, and did you feel Martin struggled?"

Benitez: "We had to do it for this game, so we did it."

Journalist: Do you think he maybe had a tough time in that position? Was it a bit unnatural for him?

Benitez: "I was really pleased with him because he wanted to play in this position. It was good for the team."

FFL Week 25

It may be a little premature to be writing off James's nearest challenger, but along with Arteta's knee seemingly went Nick's chances of catching our runaway leader. With him out of the picture, it's hard to see where the points will come from: Queresma was Scolari's man and didn't feature in Hiddink's first game; Laursen and Aurelio are injured; Babel is a bench-warmer; Zaki is hopelessly out of form. Fabregas may be back soon, but I would be suprised if we saw anything like the Fabregas of last season between now and May.

And what of our other challengers? Theo may yet pose a threat. Only 19 points behind, Anelka still in form, Milner back in the side (see below), and Ronaldo Ronadoing again. Still, too many players not on the pitch often enough, if at all - Hyypia, Osman, Malouda, Brown.

It may take a challenge from deeper. Stathi may be 31 points behind, but he's got something he hasn't had for a few weeks: two fit strikers. Carlton Cole joins the side to partner the fit-again Wayne Rooney. And Joe Hart aside, the defence looks solid. Don't write him off.

As for the rest of us, minor - and, in some cases, major - miracles are required. A few more weeks like this one might see Mike make a challenge. He top scored this week with 17. Three of us bottom scored with 9: Sid, Nick PC, and - quel surprise! - me. But I'm done with moaning about it. For this week. The scores:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	287
12	2nd	Nick PC	275
19	3rd	Theo	268
31	4th	Stathi	256
44	5th	Sid	243
45	6th	Mike	242
53	7th	Don	234
77	8th	Nick Ath	210

As I've already mentioned, Stathi bought Carlton Cole for Jermaine Defoe, and Theo couldn't resist buying James Milner for the 23rd time since he left Leeds, for Jimmy Bullard.

Don't forget there are FA Cup games too this week. The scores above include last night's Spurs match.

Your over-it Chairman

FFL Week 24

Whatever you think about incorporating the FA Cup into our FFL season, you can't argue that it doesn't add a few more twists and turns to what's become a twisty-turney season already. And, with a tasty dish of cup replays still to come, expect a few more twists and turns before February is out.

And it doesn't get more twisty and turney than a hatrick in the last 15 minutes of a game. Add a goal for Ronaldo and a clean sheet from Gallas, and you've got a weekend-long stiffy if you're a little bald QS from West Finchley - 13 points puts you back to within 20 points of a big not-quite-bald-yet doctor from Mill Hill.

Slipping away this week was Stathi - who's been called enough things on this blog, so I'll refrain just this once - who scored a big fat zero. That damn FA Cup, eh?

Here is the leaderboard once again:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	275
9	2nd	Nick PC	266
19	3rd	Theo	256
28	4th	Stathi	247
38	5th	Sid	237
41	6th	Mike	234
57	7th	Don	218
74	8th	Nick Ath	201

Nice to see all managers in the 200s. Some of us won't be getting beyond 300, so let's savour it for a week.

There were 2 transfers to report, both from the top. James rids himself of Rory Delap and avails himself of Matt Taylor. And Theo dumps Adebayor and takes a punt on Kenwyne Jones.

Transfers in hand: Chairman Nick - 0; James - 2; Mike - 0; Theo - 1; Don - 4; Sid - 3 (and he can't buy Rafael any more); Stathi - 1; Nick PC - 1.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 23

So, we come to the end of another tempestuous week ridden with scandals, changes in personnel and the odd tantrum. If you think I've lost it a little over the last couple of weeks, you ain't seen nothing yet.

James still leads, despite the agony of missing the transfer deadline because of work commitments. This FFL malarkey is an unforgiving business - complacency in the execution of transfers can cost a manager the title, as James is all too aware.

James's nemesis in that infamous season of neglected transfers, Donald, benefitted this week from his own neglect. Jo's 8 points on his Everton debut handed Donald the manager of the week accolade, with 20 points. Amazingly, he's not out of the running yet. A few more weeks like this one could see him challenge.

And so to your beleagred, punchdrunk, despairing, weary, and rapidly unhinging chairman. There were more comments on last week's blog post than points for my team throughout all of January. Over the last 7 weeks, I've scored 2, 3, 2, 8, 1, 11, and 2. And I've made all my transfers. And I have to keep the scores. And I got a gas bill for over £300 this morning. And I've got to walk the dog through the slush as soon as I've posted this entry.

Fuck, fuck and triple fuck. Here are the scores:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	269
10	2nd	Nick PC	259
22	3rd	Stathi	247
26	4th	Theo	243
36	5th	Sid	233
40	6th	Mike	229
56	7th	Don	213
76	8th	Nick Ath	193

There were more transfer shenanigans this week. Theo's offer of Malouda wasn't enough to snap up new boy Queresma, with Nick PC outbidding him with Joe Cole. The other new boy, Arshavin, goes to Donald who gets rid of Alves. And pretending that it will make any difference whatsoever, I bought Rafael for Traore.

A long way to go yet, but it still looks like it will go to the wire.

Farewell.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 23

Hey, I'm back again! Sorry about the delay - I had no internet for a while and I've been busy with other shit.

And what a week to miss. A double week in the Premier League has seen James create a cushion between himself and the chasing pack. He scored a massive 29, nudging him 17 points in front. Donald bottom scored with 4. I'm going to keep it brief, so here's the table, which has been audited:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	259
17	2nd	Nick PC	242
21	3rd	Theo	238
21	4th	Stathi	238
36	5th	Sid	223
46	6th	Mike	213
66	7th	Don	193
68	8th	Nick Ath	191

Predictably, there was a transfer frenzy this week. If your transfer doesn't appear below, it's either because they player you wanted is already taken or you tried to buy a player before he was listed (Stathi).

Donald, yes Donald: Shorey OUT Konchesky IN
Mike: James OUT Howard IN, and Rosicky OUT Carrick IN.

Mike's also raised a query about his purchase of Ballack. When he bought Ballack, he already had Shaun Wright-Phillips and Ashley Cole. However, SWP was down as a Man City player at the time, even though Mike had bought him at auction as a Chelsea player. I think that's okay but if anyone objects, let your voice be heard now.

Bear in mind the scores above don't include midweek FA Cup points.

Over and out.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 22

Sorry, no time for the usual ramblings this week. Nick PC top scored with 18. That is all you know and all ye need to know.

Oh, and the table:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	223
2	2nd	Nick PC	221
3	3rd	Theo	220
4	4th	Stathi	219
24	5th	Sid	199
40	6th	Mike	183
43	7th	Don	180
44	8th	Nick Ath	179

No transfers.

Have I ever called this a fucking stupid, pointless, puerlie game?

Your Chairman

FFL Week 21

Tighter than a nun's crack, if you're wondering. In the absence of any individual brilliance this week, I chose instead to go for something vulgar, yet apt. I know it's the wrong crack, but I challenge any of you to find the right one.

It's like a microcosm of our solar system this season, with only 6 points separating the top 4 as they orbit stardom, while the rest of us beyond the asteroid belt are looking to the heavens for some fortune and inspiration.

This week star is Nick PC, scoring a decent 14 and hurtling towards the helium. Beyond the asteroid belt, Syd's 12 points reward him with the bolt of Jupiter. This week's loenly planet, once again, is me. 2 points this time, and grateful for them too. Well and truly fucked.

The table:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	209
0	2nd	Theo	209
1	3rd	Stathi	208
6	4th	Nick PC	203
23	5th	Sid	186
33	6th	Don	176
35	7th	Mike	174
38	8th	Nick Ath	171

Transfers:

Sid rebuys Neville with Rafael. And Rafael duly picked up a clean sheet in midweek. Nice one Sid.
Theo buys Hyppia for Yobo.

One last thing. Anyone looking for something decent to read could do worse than The Damned United, by David Peace. I'm sure some of you have already read it anyway.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 20

Sorry, late again. No fuss this week - I'll just get the scores out, apologise and get on with Week 21 in a more timely manner. Note there are three weeks condensed into one here.

The big mover was James, slipping furtively into top spot after a remarkable 18 FA Cup points. The table has effectively concertinaed after the FA Cup week, with just 35 points separating top from bottom. Theo's perforated voodoo dolls can be laid to rest for a while - the damage has been done, with his last four weekly scores being 7, 1, 9, and 3. Well done everyone. He's still only 2 points off the lead, so don't throw them away just yet.

It's tight at the top. Look:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	James	203
2	2nd	Theo	201
3	3rd	Stathi	200
14	4th	Nick PC	189
29	5th	Sid	174
33	6th	Don	170
34	7th	Nick Ath	169
35	8th	Mike	168

Exciting times, unless you're fifth or lower.

One transfer to report this week: Sid buys Hangeland for Distin.

That's it for another week folks.

Your Chairman

FFL Week 16

I doubt anyone will be reading this, what with last minute shopping and other festive chores taking precedence, so I'll make it short and succint. This week probably saw the lowest cumulative score in FFL history, with only two managers breaking into double figures, and only just.

Your Chairman's recent slide has been halted, albeit briefly, with a top weekly score of 13, thanks largely to the Steed's goal and two assists against Hull. Nick PC's recent revival also comes to a dramatic halt, with a meagre 2 points.

Here are the scores:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Theo	188
16	2nd	James	172
20	3rd	Stathi	168
25	4th	Nick PC	163
37	5th	Nick Ath	151
48	6th	Don	140
53	7th	Sid	135
53	8th	Mike	135

There were no transfers.

Expect some big scores next week, what with a double gameweek.

And Merry Xmas.

Your Chairman.

FFL Week 15

Yes, Week 14 did disappear into the ether. As Mike knows, this can happen. There are other (less important, admittedly) things that demand a scorekeeper's attention from time to time.

So, let's squeeze two weeks into one. Nick PC is the big shaker over the fortnight, amassing 25 points. It might not sound like much, but it's been a quiet couple of weeks for the big hitters. And with Agbonlahor, one of the few Premier League strikers guaranteed 90 minutes most weeks, he could be a threat. If Cole, Fabregas and Arteta start justifying their fees, he certainly will be a threat.

So many managers had a bad fortnight that it's barely worth singling one out. Let's just say it was me, for argument's sake. Even if it wasn't, I deserve the accolate for buying Robbie Keane the weekend before Benitez decided that he'll never play again. Liverpool desperately need a goal? Let's give the kit man a run out.

The scores:

	FFL 2008/09 LEAGUE TABLE
Diff			Total Points
	1st	Theo	181
18	2nd	Stathi	163
20	3rd	Nick PC	161
19	4th	James	162
43	5th	Nick Ath	138
46	6th	Don	135
50	7th	Mike	131
51	8th	Sid	130

There were 2 transfers: Theo gets rid of his lovechild James Milner and buys Leon Osman. Sid swaps one United fullback for another, bringing in Rafael for Neville. A good move that.

And that's it for another week.

Or two.

Your Chairman

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