Week 32

A day in the life of Jay Spearing.

Jay and his girlfriend search the floor for some brekkie .

Jay tries to flog some hookie gear on the way to the game. Typical scally !!

Jay showing solidarity with fans in Liverpool scarf.

Jay takes some time out to have a photo with a Liverpool fan. " Its the fatsies, she's eaten all the pies."

Jay celebrates winning the most dubious penalty ever for the scousers. "I tricksies them ", he was quoted saying after the game. "I won the preciousssss !"

Post match celebrations down at Gandalf's nightclub where Jay does a regular dj spot.

In pensive mode, Jay at home composing his memoirs.

As the two hobbits McNick and Theo (well they are both short and hairy!!) battle it out for the precioussss coveted FFL ring, Nick has the honour of being Throdo to Theo's Samwise Gamgee with 15 points to 13. Nick was helped in part by Jay Spearing (the only living human who could turn Medusa to stone !!) whose dodgy pen was tucked away by the other Liverpool rose Dirk Kuyt. Orc of the week is John with -1.

Tranfers

TC and DP both went for Smalling, Donald with Djourou and Theo with Dunn. Both have the same value. Theo gets Smalling as his transfer was made earlier, last week Tuesday.

The Chairman

Week 31

Ode to Fat Frank

Frank, Frank where have you been this year

I've missed your goals, my points are bare

With your lucky touch and your mate Rick O'Shea

Its not the same when you joucey fat bastard don't play

Very little points this week with Fat Frank boosting me jointly with John on 10 points as this week's Christine Bleakley smashers. Donald is this week's Coleen Rooney's plaything with -1.

Transfers. McNick : Bentley out , Hitzlperger in. Stath ran out of transfers so his purchase of Duff did not go through.

The Chairman

Week 30 Update

Apologies boys. I missed out an FA Cup game of major significance. Additional points for the City Villa game have now been added. Hart 3, Richards 3, Kolarov 3, Lescott 3, Boatang 3, Y Toure 5, D Silva 3 and Friedal -2.

No change in the top two. McNick is still the top storm trooper with 24 points and due to my 8 point increase and James -2 means that James alone is Jaja Binks with -1 points.

The Chairman

Week 30

In a week when the Empire Strikes Back, Dirk Darth Maul was the leader of Emperor McNick's forces. A storm trooping week of 21 points sees the three times champion come in touching distance of a not so young Theo Skywalker whose 13 points keeps him holding his grip. Donald Vader remains the other dark force in touching distance hoping that the dark side can provide a third title for himself. This weeks Ewoks are Sid James (what a Carry On) with a point each.

Transfers

DP brings in Parker for Fellani. Stathis brings in Ba for Kolou and Duff for Huddlestone.

The Chairman

Week 29

Crime watch. Have you seen either of these two complete twats? Ashley Cole should have received an ASBO for shooting a kid with an air rifle. Any other scally would have. The monkey boy Rooney should have had a ban for the fore-arm smash last week. But guess who was the ref and his accomplice. Yes, it was Mark "Whatever I can possibly do Sir Alex" Clattenburg. If either of these appear in a match you are attending please sing heartily in acknowledging their cuntitude as its seems that this is the only punishment they will receive!!

Donald, strikes back. Not with an air rifle but a steady nine points to cut down Theo's lead. John is this weeks Obafemi Martins with 16. The wig wearing referee sponsored by MUFC is me with -2 points.

Special mention for Stathis who has jumped out of the relegation spot with a team full of our arse shavings!!

No transfers this week.

The Chairman

Ever more inventive ways to con the ref!!!

This is ridiculous.................

Another trick for Drogba to learn

Forget Sky Sports.............

You may sometimes be amused, infuriated, pissed off or downright disappointed with the likes of Charlie Nicholas, Paul Merson and 'The Nose' (Phil Thompson) spouting their opinions during Soccer Saturday but I give you the definitive 'wearing your heart on your sleeve' football panelists.

Courtesy of Sky Italia this is taken from the Spurs - Milan Champions League match.

Highlights:

Fast forward to 4:30secs - when Spurs score
Fast forward to ::05secs - disallowed Milan goal

Sit back and enjoy..............



More here

Week 28

I'm sure this is Diego Maradonna moonlighting as a Libyan dictator !! We'll the Libyan's do have a 7% stake in the Old Lady. (That's Juve not Diego's missus)

As many parts of north Africa demand democracy, we see a little man with a steely determination for a second title start to lay down the law on the FFL this year. He has not gone in with the heavy guns yet but is eking out a lead on his closest rivals.

This weeks Freedom Fighters were John's team with 13 points. This weeks Mad Dog Gaddafi's were James with another big fat zero. James could find himself being overtaken by Stathis who did not attend the auction. The ultimate humiliation in FFL terms. In fact its the equivalent of going down to the third flight in English football after having one the European Cup !!

No transfers this week.

The Chairman

Week 27

If you look closely, the little rat with his hand around Joe Jordan's throat is wearing a Respect armband. He also has a Big C which is 10 times the size and 10 times more appropriate!! That's Cunt not Cancer just in case there was any doubt.

This baby eating Scot would have sprinkled that little shit on his porridge !!

In a week that saw Theo not react to provocation of his closest rival, there was very little movement. He was this weeks Joe Jordan with a dismissive 9 points in the face of confrontation. Mike has the unwanted title of this weeks Psycho Italian Pensioner Basher with zilch.

There were two transfers this week. Donald brings in Djourou for Dann. Theo gambles on Richardson for Petrov.

The Chairman

Xavi: Move, Receive, Pass

What a footballer.
















Good article here.

Highlights:

"If I go to Liverpool’s ground and someone puts the ball into the area and Carragher hammers it out of play then the fans applaud. In the Nou Camp you would never be applauded for that."

“He [Scholes] can play the final pass, he can score, he is strong, he never gets knocked off the ball and he doesn’t give possession away. If he had been Spanish then maybe he would have been valued more.”

Sums up the mentality of British football beautifully.................

Was only a matter of time.............

Won't be just his face twitching in the dock

Week 26 Update

Due to irregularities in the transfer market, we have a Sid Sports exclusive. McNick has acknowledged a bid for a Liverpool player when he has three in his team already. The three players are legitimate due to transfers to Liverpool. However, he cannot purchase another.

The implications are as follows.

DPs bid for Meireles is accepted. McNick's second bid for Bentley with Cole beats Theo's bid with Petrov.

To summarise

DP has Meireles for Milner.
McNick has Bentley for Cole.
Theo has J. Shit for his efforts

All other transfers stand.

The Chairman

Week 26

Nick Ath makes a bid for Luiz (Chelsea) with Evans (Man U) going the other way

We have news from DP who counters McNick's bid with Dann (Birmingham)

Confirmation has come through McNick's bid at 4.9 has been accepted.

Breaking news, Theo has fallen out with Petrov as he has under performed in this star studded team. He wants Bentley to replace him.

Hold on, we have received a heads up that McNick also wants Bentley if his bid for Mereiles is unsuccessful.

DP has come in for Mereiles with Milner, however, again McNick has thrown in Joe Cole (4.6) which Liverpool have accepted as opposed to an unhappy Milner (4.4)

With McNick successful for Mereiles, the chain of events sees Bentley head to Theo for a late medical before signing. Again DP misses out.

Rumours are circulating that Sid is looking to offload Chamak with Suarez his first choice followed by Saha if the Suarez bid is unsuccessful.

It looks like we have another bid for Suarez. Our sources confirm that an offer has come in from Pieri using want away Cry Baby Balotelli going the other way.

We have received confirmation that the Pieri bid has been accepted (6.8). Pieri has been busy with two other make or break transfers. His love for the scouse community sees him bring in Liverpool's Kelly for Everton's Coleman. He also takes a punt on Sessegnon (Sunderland in case you were wondering) for Ramires.

Now back to league action. DP joins Theo on top spot with a blockbusting 26 points. Yes, its Tevez again showing more punch than a Northampton granny in a robbery. This weeks Mr Wenger is Pieri with zero points.

Transfer summary
Nick - Luiz for Evans and Meireles for Cole
Theo - Bentley for Petrov
Sid - Chamak for Saha
Pieri - Coleman for Kelly, Ramires for Sessegnon, Balotelli for Suarez

The Chairman

Week 25

As the transfer window hots up, Liverpool fans celebrate the departure of Nando with the customary Judas ritual !!

No offence but Chelski will never be a bigger club than Liverpool. Fact !

Theo finally heads the table again after grinding away at McNick's lead. The top three teams are separated by seven points as the race for the title hots up. DP is this weeks Sergio Aguero with 11 points. McNick is the two faced two headed Carroll/Torres monster that showed as much loyalty to their team as Jordan to her hubbies, with 1 point.

No transfers this week, but I'm sure there will be plenty of activity next week. In fact, I bid for a player this week only to find that he was not on the list yet.

The Chairman

Player List Update

Please see attached the latest player list for transfer info only. The points on it are only the league points from last week (FA Cup were calculated separately) before I receive any duffoid questions.

Week 24

Just thought I'd take you back to a time when a statement like Mr Gray's was perfectly acceptable. The 80s ! Andy, offside is a rule not a gender you sad bastard!! And you got shamed by a girl !!


Another good week for TC as he gnaws away at Nick's lead. Again he is team of the week with 21 points. Van Persie did the damage with 12 points. This week's ex-Sky Chauvinista is me with 1 point.

No transfers this week.

The Chairman

Week 23

Another Chelsea player just receives the news from his captain that his missus was not as game as Wayne Bridge's when it came to performing in the Chelsea strip.

It was the Terry/Ivanovic partnership which provided Theo 13 of his 20 points to be team of the week. Ivanovic managed the "defender's full house" ie a goal, a clean sheet and an assist. Mike had a credible 19 points which keeps him in contention, again with a highly impressive defensive display. This week's Wayne Bridge (raising the bar for fullback ineptitude) was John with -2 points.

One transfer this week. I kick out Jarvis for Yaya Toure.

The Chairman

Week 22

20 years ago a Candy Liverpool training jacket was surgically removed from Kenny Dalglish.

The jacket in another metamorphosis is back on the Anfield legend. Hopefully they remember the technology to remove the jacket when King Kenny walks away and leaves the scousers in the shite this time round !!

The FA Cup/ midweek league action proved fruitful for Theo. He was this weeks Graham Westley (Stevenage manager) with a top banana score of 25 points. Nani, Ivanovic and Defoe were his main contributors. This weeks Ian Holloway with his bag of sour grapes is James with 11 points. Nick still leads the way but loses both forwards for future FA Cup action thanks to the whole of the north east deciding that they would simultaneously play shit.

Transfers.

Rico beats his brother to Dzeko with Le Sulk Anelka having a higher book value than Cry Baby Balotelli.

Donald brings in Fellani for Scholes.

The Chairman

Never under estimate the power of a good story!

Greek side miss FIVE sitters in 11 seconds!!

Veria, of Greece's second division, are early contenders for consecutive misses of teh seasons - five times!

They have five chances of increasing simplicity in just 11 seconds, but come up with a series of innovative ways to miss the target instead. Far more amusing!