Oldie but goldie.
My boys found this and we have been pissing ourselves laughing for the past few weeks.
Love it!
http://youtu.be/-fVDGu82FeQ
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Week Ten
WOW...........
Another week and another bizarre set of results.
We've had United 8-2 Arsenal, United 1-6 city, Spurs 4-0 Liverpool and this week Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal!!!!
Incredible action, attacking football at it's best but let's be honest there has been some horrendous defending.
This is why the Premier League is THE most watched domestic league in the world because there are so many bloody mistakes.
Also lets look at some of these supposed top defences:
- United have had 10 different central defensive partnerships this season TEN - and Johnny Evans STILL gets a game.
- If Santos can play at this level I'm digging out my boots.
- Mertesecaker? What the fuck???
- I've already said on here how David Luiz has been found out as a mediocre defender. Great hair, shit feet.
- Is it a coincidence that Liverpool got a clean sheet when Carragher isn't playing? - never seen a top level player blow out of his arse in the first five minutes - talk about playing on reputation.
- And then the best bit of 'defending' is gravity again letting John Terry know who is boss - what an utter cunt of man.
Anyway, this week, Chelsea's defensive woes hit three-time champion McNick hard.....very hard. His -8 courtesy of two Chelsea defenders led to an overall total of -2 and wins this week's Ashley "I once nearly drove my car off the road because I wanted 3K a week more from my boyhood football club so I jumped ship and joined Spartak Chelski, played well for some seasons but this weekend was utterly bummed (which incidentally I am quite partial to if there is a mobile phone involved) by that world class, stunning footballing talent that is er, um, oh hold on...Theo Walcott" Cole award for a dreadful 90 minutes. Add to that he is an integral member of Cunt FC and it is easy to see why he sponsors this week's award.
As much as McNick hates this game this week (this year?), Harry must have been beside himself and is manager of the week thanks to 11 points from the magnificent RvP. Add a goal from Carroll (remember him - £35m??? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA) and Harry top scored with a mammoth 21 points - an almost 31% increase on his season's total.
DP closed the gap at the top to just five but the big winners at the top were Rico (17 points) and James (14 points).
Here is the table:
Interesting to note McNick has a negative total for his defence more than quarter ito the season (sorry I don't mean to McNick bash thsi week but just found it a nice stat to quote......)
Transfers (if any) after tomorrow's deadline.
Regards
Your chairman................
PS
Any non-AFC fan find the celebrations at the final whistle at the Bridge a tad over the top? Great performance (going forward), great player (RvP), significant result but it's OCTOBER and its ONLY THREE POINTS. Sheesh........
Friday, October 28, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Why United will not win the league...........
Those of who frequent Old Trafford (and those who don't to be honest) have been saying for a while that without midfield recruitment's, United will not win the league.
Last season was an anomaly simply because Chelsea imploded, City were not 'there' yet and Arsenal were, well rubbish.
Look at these stats and this is not down to defensive frailities, more the dearth in midfield talent that allows the opposition ball retention and chances on goal:
Total shots conceded in PL this season:
Man Utd 168,
Bolton 165,
Norwich 155,
Swansea 152,
Wigan 151,
Wolves 147.
This season City, Chelsea, even the bindippers have a FAR superior midfield. Tottenham with a Sandro - Parker axis allowing Modric to roam have a facr better balanced and talented midfield.
As Champ19ns (see what I did there??) how can United hope to defend the title with a midfield comprising of two or three of the following?:
Anderson - he's had his chance and he is still 2 stone overweight
Fletcher - above average, that's all
Carrick - good player, but plays the ball sideways too often. Only this way do his stats show a pass completion rate in the 90s percentage-wise.
Cleverely - a young talent who has ability but surely our season's hopes can't rest on him???
Giggs - too old
Gibson - too shit
Jones - too young and not a midfielder
United will continue to win games but because Rooney, Nani, Hernandez and Young as so good.
Ferguson has though got two youngsters in the youth team WHO ARE OUTSTANDING - and yes I have seen them! Step forward Paul Pogba and Ravel Morrison.
It is too soon for them in the first team but here is the dilemma for Ferguson: - buy in January and/or summer what we desperately need which could show Pog and Mor they are further away from first team action or wait for the youngsters but United will lose more matches than they would otherwise would with a settled, experienced midfield.
Decisions, decisions........
Last season was an anomaly simply because Chelsea imploded, City were not 'there' yet and Arsenal were, well rubbish.
Look at these stats and this is not down to defensive frailities, more the dearth in midfield talent that allows the opposition ball retention and chances on goal:
Total shots conceded in PL this season:
Man Utd 168,
Bolton 165,
Norwich 155,
Swansea 152,
Wigan 151,
Wolves 147.
This season City, Chelsea, even the bindippers have a FAR superior midfield. Tottenham with a Sandro - Parker axis allowing Modric to roam have a facr better balanced and talented midfield.
As Champ19ns (see what I did there??) how can United hope to defend the title with a midfield comprising of two or three of the following?:
Anderson - he's had his chance and he is still 2 stone overweight
Fletcher - above average, that's all
Carrick - good player, but plays the ball sideways too often. Only this way do his stats show a pass completion rate in the 90s percentage-wise.
Cleverely - a young talent who has ability but surely our season's hopes can't rest on him???
Giggs - too old
Gibson - too shit
Jones - too young and not a midfielder
United will continue to win games but because Rooney, Nani, Hernandez and Young as so good.
Ferguson has though got two youngsters in the youth team WHO ARE OUTSTANDING - and yes I have seen them! Step forward Paul Pogba and Ravel Morrison.
It is too soon for them in the first team but here is the dilemma for Ferguson: - buy in January and/or summer what we desperately need which could show Pog and Mor they are further away from first team action or wait for the youngsters but United will lose more matches than they would otherwise would with a settled, experienced midfield.
Decisions, decisions........
Week Nine
So, what was the biggest story of the weekend?
Chelsea finally getting the correct number of cards for their cuntish behaviour?
We have all seen video footage of John Terry being outed as a racist - yes I know we all KNEW it but this showed incontrovertible proof.
That Villas-Boas is indeed the new Mourinho and he also cannot take losing.
David Luiz really is a useless defender.
Norwich getting a point a Anfield?
Chamakh finally getting a 'game' and proving that Arsenal are a one-man band this season?
(I'm trying, really I am, trying to avoid it...........................)
Oh ok:
A little matter of a derby game up in the north west turned into a mauling. United got raped - badly and brutally. That Ferguson actually does hurt. That the bitters are indeed the real deal. That Ferguson got it wrong (big fucking style) in not buying a midfielder in the summer. That Evans is pile of wank who wouldn't get a game at Omonia Nicosia.
There happy now?
Small (very, very, very) small mercies - I feel very vindicated in not buying my customary United defender this season. Could see United conceding regularly.
As for FFL. Has it become a two-horse race?
Myself and DP are the only two who scored double-figures. DP top scored with 13 and I scored 12, meaning there is a gap of eight between the top two. My 12 points saw me break through the 100 points barrier.
Nick PC is a further 17 back with Rico, James and Stathi 30+ points off top spot.
Harry still occupies the bottom but is only seven points off McNick who is having his worst season ever!
That game in the North-West saw James ship -10 points and in the process giving this week's "I know, my captain played his first game back from injury in an international match, missed a penalty, retired so I'll put him up in the stands and play that fucking wank Jonny Evans ahead of even Phil Jones against the most potent goal scoring team in the country. And yes Anderson and Fletcher are a good midfield pairing against De Jong, Toure and Silva" award with a low total of -5
Table:
Transfer (if any) after the Monday evening deadline.
Regards your Chairman
(who not only cannot believe yesterday but at 3-0 down was actually gutted Fletcher scored! Cost me SIX points!!!!!)
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Week Eight
No commentary. Just facts. (the website sometimes changes the points on Monday so please check your scores and email me any mistakes I may have made.)
Fact 1: Rico wins the Rafa "I'm so bitter I still talk about meester Ferguson because he sent me round the bend in 2009 and my claims that United's success have nothing to do with meester Ferguson and is entirely down to money prove I'm not only bitter but utterly stupid as I outspent meester Ferguson in my time at Liverpool. Oh and give us a job please" Benitez award for scoring -1 this week.
Fact 2: I win the joint Robin and Demba "can't stop scoring at the moment" Van Persie and Ba award for top scoring with 14 and remain top - get in!
Fact 3: Harry scores his best weekly total, 9.
Fact 4: James in the only manager not to dabble in the transfer market.
Fact 5: Gap opens up at the top. Four points separates 2nd to 3rd. James a further three back in 4th. Too early to claim it is between the top four but the gap between 4th and 5th has grown to 9 (was only one last week)
Table:
Transfer updated after Monday if at all.
Regards
Your top of the FFL and dreading going to OT next week chairman.............................
Fact 1: Rico wins the Rafa "I'm so bitter I still talk about meester Ferguson because he sent me round the bend in 2009 and my claims that United's success have nothing to do with meester Ferguson and is entirely down to money prove I'm not only bitter but utterly stupid as I outspent meester Ferguson in my time at Liverpool. Oh and give us a job please" Benitez award for scoring -1 this week.
Fact 2: I win the joint Robin and Demba "can't stop scoring at the moment" Van Persie and Ba award for top scoring with 14 and remain top - get in!
Fact 3: Harry scores his best weekly total, 9.
Fact 4: James in the only manager not to dabble in the transfer market.
Fact 5: Gap opens up at the top. Four points separates 2nd to 3rd. James a further three back in 4th. Too early to claim it is between the top four but the gap between 4th and 5th has grown to 9 (was only one last week)
Table:
Transfer updated after Monday if at all.
Regards
Your top of the FFL and dreading going to OT next week chairman.............................
Cheating fucker..........SHITE match of the day coverage
How many times did MOTD show this?
Compare to when they show(ed) every Ronaldo incident, every Nani incident, every Ginola incident, every Drogba incident, every Robben incident. Spurs boys will remember how Zakora was torn a new one for his now infamous belly-flop.
Why not even SHOW Downing's dive? And while on the subject Owen never got pulled up his artistic impression. One of the worst habitual divers is the human starfish himself Gerrard.
It's George Orwell's 1984 - scrubbing facts from history.
Compare to when they show(ed) every Ronaldo incident, every Nani incident, every Ginola incident, every Drogba incident, every Robben incident. Spurs boys will remember how Zakora was torn a new one for his now infamous belly-flop.
Why not even SHOW Downing's dive? And while on the subject Owen never got pulled up his artistic impression. One of the worst habitual divers is the human starfish himself Gerrard.
It's George Orwell's 1984 - scrubbing facts from history.
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Week 7 Transfers
Harry and Sid fought over the services over Arsenal's Aaron Ramsey.
Harry won as Pennant (4.0m) was worth 100k more than Pedersen (3.9m)
Confirmed transfer:
Harry:
Pennant OUT Ramsey IN
Harry won as Pennant (4.0m) was worth 100k more than Pedersen (3.9m)
Confirmed transfer:
Harry:
Pennant OUT Ramsey IN
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Week Seven
With another shitty international week on the horizon, FFL takes a back seat next week.
With a two week Premier League break Arsenal fans have a long wait before they can extinguish their derby day blues.
Watching the THFC v AFC game as an impartial observer, the thought that kept recurring to me was "are Arsenal in a relegation battle?".
Defence is non-existent. For all those who kept bleating, "but he plays for Germany" about Mertesacker. All I can say is - so fucking what? Awful defender. No pace - in a league that is so quick and relianet on speed. Positional sense very suspect. And those around him are not much better.
Szcenznzcenzny, though, is a top drawer 'keeper.
The other talking point of the weekend? Rat face Suarez and his diving. Fuck me. As gifted as he is a footballer he is as much a true cunt of a man.
Evidence:
Goals, clean sheets and points galore this week in FFL.
I top score this week with 22, thanks to Nasri (7) and Sturridge (8). But there are mega weeks also for Nick PC and Sid who both scored 19.
Harry adds to his weekly wooden spoon prizes - by the end of the season he will be able to open a 'wooden spoon emporium'
Here is this week's table:
As last week, transfers will be up after I've seen the emails (if any).
Regards
(Top of the League) Chairman
With a two week Premier League break Arsenal fans have a long wait before they can extinguish their derby day blues.
Watching the THFC v AFC game as an impartial observer, the thought that kept recurring to me was "are Arsenal in a relegation battle?".
Defence is non-existent. For all those who kept bleating, "but he plays for Germany" about Mertesacker. All I can say is - so fucking what? Awful defender. No pace - in a league that is so quick and relianet on speed. Positional sense very suspect. And those around him are not much better.
Szcenznzcenzny, though, is a top drawer 'keeper.
The other talking point of the weekend? Rat face Suarez and his diving. Fuck me. As gifted as he is a footballer he is as much a true cunt of a man.
Evidence:
Goals, clean sheets and points galore this week in FFL.
I top score this week with 22, thanks to Nasri (7) and Sturridge (8). But there are mega weeks also for Nick PC and Sid who both scored 19.
Harry adds to his weekly wooden spoon prizes - by the end of the season he will be able to open a 'wooden spoon emporium'
Here is this week's table:
As last week, transfers will be up after I've seen the emails (if any).
Regards
(Top of the League) Chairman
Friday, September 30, 2011
Week Six Transfers.........
This week's transfers..............
A fight between TC and Stathi for Junior Hoilett. Stathi offered Jordan ("save me, save, I'm drowning and out of my depth") Henderson but as he is only valued at 3.8m (real-life value IMO!!), but he was outbid by Champion TC who offered Johnson (value 4.4m) Not a good couple of days for SM with Tevez acting like the cunt he really is.................
Anyway confirmed transfers:
DP
OUT: Riise; IN Walker
TC
OUT: Johnson; IN Hoilett
A fight between TC and Stathi for Junior Hoilett. Stathi offered Jordan ("save me, save, I'm drowning and out of my depth") Henderson but as he is only valued at 3.8m (real-life value IMO!!), but he was outbid by Champion TC who offered Johnson (value 4.4m) Not a good couple of days for SM with Tevez acting like the cunt he really is.................
Anyway confirmed transfers:
DP
OUT: Riise; IN Walker
TC
OUT: Johnson; IN Hoilett
OUT: Kuyt; IN Drenthe
Finally, for what it's worth, my prediction for the weekend's big match:
THFC 3-1 AFC
(Adebayor to get a least one goal and again cause uproar among his former fans)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Week Six
In anticipation of another heavy week of marking you can't get quicker service than this - just hours after the final whistle in the final game of the weekend!
This week's manager of the week is Nick PC with a hefty 16 but still leaves him double figures behind early pace-setter DP who himself scored a healthy 12.
Brothers Pieri are a mere seven points behind in joint second thanks to 10 pts (Rico) and 11 pts (me) scored this week.
Harry gets his best weekly total so far meaning that the Peter 'I'll play it safe and not give a pen when it is a pen and not send off Woodgate even though I should 'cos I'm playing it safe but I'm actually a shit ref and bottle every big decision' Walton award goes to reigning champion TC with a rather pathetic ONE.
Interesting stats (for me anyway)
Total points scored for all managers in three areas are as follows:
Defence: 120 (total players 50)
Midfield: 162 (total players 40)
Attack: 165 (total players 20)
Giving average points per player in each area as follows:
Defence: 2.4
Midfield: 4.05
Attack: 8.25
Attackers doing much better defenders and midfielders put together. The conclusion? Myself, James, and TC are fucked. Between us our 'attackers' have scored 20 points. Contrast this with Rico's South American superstar frontline of 37!
Here is the (full) table with added extra bit:
I'll check transfers (if any) during the week and post them.
Regards
Your referee-hating, stats-loving chairman
Friday, September 23, 2011
Week Five
Another week, yet more goals conceded.Apologies for taking ages to update but marking, footy after school, going to see Michael Johnson and falling ill this week have taken their toll. An eventful week and even though the Scousers got SMASHED and United tamed the rent boys the highlight was seeing my Year 10 football team play their first ESFA National Cup match and spank a team from Lewisham 10 - 0!!!!
Having just also signed a new student from Leyton Orient's Centre of Excellence I am beaming and with the possibility of an Arsenal centreback coming.............well!!!
In the world of FFL, this season looks like being won by the team that leaks the least as well as scores the most.
Every manager leaked goals except for Champion TC. But as he only gained 2 points from Bendtner he was far from manager of the week.
Leaked points this week:
James: -4
DP: -5
Sid: -6
Pieri: -7
Stath: -4
Nick PC: -10
McNick: -7
Rico: -3
Harry: -6
Manager of the week was Stathi with 8.
Here is the table:
Nine points cover the top six places. Cannot rule anyone out at this stage in such a strange FFL season.
Transfers:
Nick PC
OUT Jones IN Zamora
Myself and Sid battled it out for the services of Newcastle's Cabaye. Sid submitted Pedersen and I opted to get rid of Sssegnon. Both players are valued at £3.9m but as I submitted my bid over two and half hours before Sid, I get the player. Woohoo! So...........
Pieri
OUT Sessegnon IN Cabaye
Hopefully I can get my homework marked earlier so that I can update earlier!
Regards your chairman..........
Friday, September 16, 2011
Week 4
Sincere apologies for the delay.............difficult week.
Manager of the week - James and TC both score 16 points.
Gap at the top closes after DP's paltry 6.
Table:
Plenty of transfers again this week.
DP
Gomes OUT, Begovic IN
TC
Benayoun OUT, Arshavin IN
Harry
Cleverely OUT, Meireles IN
Sid
Davies (cunting fouling bastard) OUT Agbonlahor IN
That is all
Your (amateur referee hating) Chairman....................
Manager of the week - James and TC both score 16 points.
Gap at the top closes after DP's paltry 6.
Table:
Plenty of transfers again this week.
DP
Gomes OUT, Begovic IN
TC
Benayoun OUT, Arshavin IN
Harry
Cleverely OUT, Meireles IN
Sid
Davies (cunting fouling bastard) OUT Agbonlahor IN
That is all
Your (amateur referee hating) Chairman....................
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)